Find the Perfect Jeans

Jeans

 

Jeans by jolynneshane

I get a lot of Fashion Friday requests for a post on finding the perfect jeans. I’ve addressed it before, but I thought it might be time to revisit the topic.

Finding the perfect jeans is a challenge for sure, but I think you are up for it! It requires a lot of patience and a lot of trying on. Yeah, I know. No one wants to spend a day trying stuff on, but there is no other way to find the perfect pair of jeans.

Like most issues of style, it all comes down to fit and proportion. And of course, we are all proportioned differently so everyone has to figure out what works for them.

You can find good fitting jeans at all price points, but I am slightly addicted to designer denim. It just generally fits better than the rest. But never fear!! You don’t have to shell out your month’s grocery budget on them either. With off-price shopping like TJMaxx and Nordstrom Rack and daily deal sites like Gilt, there is plenty of designer denim to be had at reasonable prices. And don’t rule out thrift stores. If you find a good thrift store in a wealthy area, you can find designer denim at rock bottom prices.

And you can definitely find jeans that fit well at Target or Old Navy or the Gap, but frankly, those prices are getting awfully full of themselves these days. I’d rather shop for designer at off-price stores; I think it’s a much better deal. I’ve done well for myself at Nordstrom Rack.

There are a few rules of thumb to keep in mind when shopping for (and trying on) jeans.

Size

It’s tough, I won’t lie. There are no easy numbers to go by like men’s pants.

Some brands work better for some people than others. If you’re a curvy girl, your challenge is to find a style where the waist isn’t gaping. If you have more of a straight figure, try to find a pair that doesn’t cut in at the waist and give you the dreaded muffin top.

I always buy my jeans on the smaller side. I’ve learned this lesson the hard way, and I’ve learned to listen to the salesgirls at Nordstrom. They usually know what they are talking about. They do stretch out as you wear them, and if you don’t put them in the dryer (I said it already but it stands to be repeated: NEVER PUT YOUR JEANS IN THE DRYER) they will fit perfectly when you buy them just a bit too snug.

This is simply a matter of trial and error. If you’re at a department or specialty store, the sales associate should be able to give you some guidance. Even if you plan to shop for your jeans at a discount, it’s a good idea to go to a full service store to try them on and determine which brand and styles work best for you.

Rise

Pay attention to the rise. If you are short-waisted, you may want a bit of a lower rise rise to balance that out. If you are long waisted, a higher rise will do more to elongate your legs and make you look well proportioned. And of course you want to avoid the dreaded muffin top at all costs. It is hard to find a pair of jeans that is low enough to be flattering and high enough hide what ought to be kept hidden. Just say no to crack, I always say.

An appropriate rise also depends on your age. The younger you are, the easier it is to get away with a low rise pant. As we get older, we have to be more careful about that. A mid-rise is always safe. The extreme high-rise is making its way back these days, but that’s more of a daring look. You really do have to have enough height to pull it off.

Length

It’s very important to consider the length of your jeans. YOU MAY NEED TO HAVE YOUR JEANS HEMMED. Don’t rule out that possibility. There is nothing worse than jeans that are the wrong length. If they are too long, you look sloppy. If they are too short, you look frumpy. Sorry, them’s the facts. Very few of us are the exact right height for jeans off the rack. Of course, they vary by style and brand.

When having your jeans hemmed, make sure to ask for jean hem. They should retain the original hem. If they don’t know what you mean, run far, far away and find another tailor. It’s safest to have them hemmed at a department store. It costs about $20.

Your jeans should just barely skim the floor — no more than a half-inch off the ground (and that’s after they’ve been washed — leave 1/2 – 3/4 inch for shrinkage and NEVER put your jeans in the dryer.) Take a look at your view from behind, and make sure they are not dragging, but that they are JUST touching the floor (because they will shrink 1/2 -inch when you wash them).

The exception to this rule is the skinny jean. It should end right below the ankle bone. And they can be scrunched if they’re a bit too long, so they are more forgiving when it comes to length.

Did you know that I’m a mind reader? Right now you’re thinking that you have high heels and you have flats and how are you supposed to know what length your jeans are supposed to be???

I know. You will have to have more than one pair of the perfect jeans. Sorry. It’s just the way it is.

I have some jeans hemmed for flats and some hemmed to wear with heels. Of course the one exception is when you tuck your jeans into your boots. Then the length doesn’t matter. WOO! (But other there are other issues with those jeans . . .  stay tuned for a future post.)

Pocket Placement (and size and style)

Please pay attention to the pockets, ladies. If they are too high, they scream MOM JEAN! If they are too low, well, you might look droopy. If they are too wide apart or too close together, they can add unwanted pounds. Some of this depends on your shape, so try on a bunch and determine which works best. Ask a saleslady for assistance, or bring along an honest friend.

You also want to pay attention to the size of the pocket. If you have a smaller derriere, you probably want to go for smaller pockets. If you have a little more back there, then go a bit larger. If you try on a lot of jeans, you will start to notice smaller details like this and which ones look best on you.

Beware of the flap pocket. It can be a hard look to pull off. I like the flap pocket on me because I feel it helps give me a bit more volume back there (I need it!) but if you have a rounder tushy, you may want to steer clear of the flap pockets, or choose wisely.

The pocket placement on these is about right. The length is too short. Never judge appropriate pant length from the stores online. Models are almost always way too tall for the jeans you buy in stores, and so the photos online are rarely the right length.

Color

A dark wash is dressier. A lighter wash is more casual. White jeans are a nice crisp look for summer, and you can even pull them off for winter if you wear them with the right pieces. Black jeans are nice to have for an evening look, and colored jeans are trendy right now. If you are going to have only one or two pair of jeans, go for one dressier dark wash and one medium wash for everyday wear.

Style

If you’re trying to decide whether to buy skinny jeans, straight-leg, bootcut, wide leg or something in between, consider your lifestyle and where you are planning to wear them. Your body shape may come into play here as well, but I do believe with the proper top and accessories, almost any woman can wear almost any style of jean.

You may be more comfortable in a bootcut because you feel it balances out your wide hips.

Or you may feel more comfortable in skinnies because you plan to tuck them into boots every day.

A wide leg jean is dressier and may be appropriate for church or the workplace.

If you’re afraid of trying skinnies, give a nice slender straight-leg jean a try. Sometimes they read as skinnies on certain people.

Bootcut and wide leg jeans look best with a heel. If you’re a flats sorta girl, you probably want to stick with a straight leg or skinnies. Of course these rules vary based on your height. If you are tall and leggy, you can probably get away with bootcut jeans and flats.

Tell me. What are your favorite jeans?? Tell us your best tips for finding the perfect jeans.

Nolan Painting of Havertown

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On Forgiveness

C.S. Lewis Forgiveness Quote

Source: modprintables on Etsy via Jo-Lynne on Pinterest

One day last week, we were having one of THOSE afternoons. You moms out there know what I’m talking about, I’m sure. I seem to have one of THOSE afternoons about once a month. Ahem.

Everything went wrong from one of the kids tracking mud into my freshly cleaned house to someone else making me late for an appointment to someone else being defiant and disagreeable. But instead of handling it all with grace and beauty, I went ballistic. It was ugly, people. Pure ugly.

A while later, we were in the car coming home from said lesson. It was quiet in the car except for an occasional sniffle from the backseat, and I was suddenly overwhelmed with a heavy guilt weighing on my soul. That balloon of righteous indignation that had been fueling my anger was slowly deflating, leaving me feeling like a cold, heartless shrew.

I had done the worst thing a mother could do. I had stomped on my child’s tender feelings and injured her self esteem. I know better than to lose my temper. I know that nothing fruitful comes from throwing a fit.

Struck with remorse and self-loathing, I silently prayed for forgiveness and then asked the same of my child. I explained that I do not want to be THAT mom, and that while I may have had a right to be angry, I had sinned in my anger by the way I had spoken to her. I said I was sorry and asked for forgiveness.

And there was silence.

No sound came from the backseat, except perhaps another sniffle.

I knew instinctively that my child was not ready to forgive. She was too hurt, and her heart was still hard.

Here is where I had a choice.

I could “make” her forgive me, or at least, I could make her SAY that I was forgiven, and assume the heart would eventually follow the words. Or I could let it go and assume that she would eventually get over her injured pride. In which case, she may or may not end up saying that she forgave me, but I could rest assured that there would unfortunately be plenty more opportunities for her to learn this bitter life lesson.

I chose the latter. I decided to let it go.

As the evening progressed, a tenuous sense of normality returned to our home, but I operated under a heightened sense of my own sinfulness and shortcomings as a mother. Later I tenderly tucked each of my little charges into their beds, and retired to my own, wearily thankful that I could start over fresh in the morning.

A few days went by, and nothing out of the ordinary occurred until one afternoon when I overheard a scuffle upstairs. It was the unmistakeable sound of my two daughters  locked in mortal combat, so I called them down. I didn’t like the way the one was speaking to the other, and I calmly told her so.

They went back up, and in a minute one daughter came back. She looked distraught and explained that she had asked forgiveness for speaking so harshly, and her sister had just turned away and given her the cold shoulder.

Aha! Opportunity knocks!

I hugged her close and said softly, “Well, you know. You WERE speaking very harshly to her just a couple minutes ago. She is only treating you the way you were treating her.”

“But I asked for forgiveness!” she exclaimed indignantly.

And there was my chance.

Snuggling her even closer I said, “I remember a day not too long ago when I asked YOU for forgiveness and you never responded. I knew you weren’t ready yet, so I didn’t push it. Give her some time.”

As I spoke, I saw the dawn of recognition pass across her features as she crumpled inside.

She buried her face in my neck as she said with total sincerity and remorse, “I’m sorry, Mommy. I DO forgive you.”

*cue tears*

With that, I knew that following my instincts that afternoon in the car had been the right decision.

See, forgiveness is a sticky widget. You cannot force someone to forgive you. If you are a parent, you can require the words be spoken, but that doesn’t mean the heart necessarily follows.

I like the way the Free Online Dictionary puts it:

Forgiveness means that you are willing to grant pardon without harboring resentment.

That is some seriously hard stuff, if you think about it.

Asking forgiveness of another person goes beyond a simple expression of remorse or saying “I’m sorry”.

When you say, “I’m sorry,” people tend to reply, “It’s okay” because they don’t know what else to say.

But it is often NOT okay.

It is NOT okay that I yelled at my child and hurt her feelings, but the act IS forgivable.

Forgiveness requires the relationship to be restored, and that can only happen when both parties are ready. While it’s not always easy, it’s totally worth waiting for.

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butter

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