Soliloquy from She Just Had To Say It is taking the wheel while I take a nap in the backseat. Please make her feel at home!
So, for the second time since March, I’ve had a little “taste” of retirement, and I’m not going to lie to you. It was de-lish.
While visiting my 92-year-old grandmother recently, we went for a swim each afternoon when she was ready for some rest, and I noticed something.
The residents of the gated community she lives in seemed, well…. young. It was apparent they were the whole next generation of retirees.
Now, granted, Grandmother is fortunate to have reached her nineties and she is ever so proud to be one of the oldest residents in her community, but her neighbors were all my parent’s age.
And then, it struck me. Not too many years from now, this could very well be me. My children will be bringing their kids to visit us in our little gated community in Florida, and I am going to wonder where the time went.
I got a humorous glimpse of what we all have to look forward to in our retirement years and oh, how I wish I’d had my camera along….
Suspenders with a swimsuit….. need I say more? Oh, but I must. While I will confess that I did secretly snicker, I really am so relieved appropriate measures were taken to protect me from what I’m sure would have left a scar for life had said Grandpa’s trunks hit the deck in their absence.
Comb-overs. They’re not pretty to begin with, right? And if you think they’re awkward in the wind, well, the pool is just downright unfriendly to them. I’m just saying – I hope our low-rise generation knows better…. Because between you and me – a nice tanned melon is way more attractive than 8’ of wet hair hanging down to a man’s left shoulder blade. Sexxxxxy.
And have you ever seen senior citizens flirt? No? Heh. I’m not going to call it pretty, but there was enough comedy in that one locale for an entire season of “Desperate Retirees”. (Emphasis on the Desperate.)
I will say – I’m a little envious of the new generation of AARP card-carrying citizens.
What doesn’t sound great about afternoons draped over a noodle in the pool conversing with friends? What wouldn’t I give for a pool bar and drinks with pals before five on a Monday?
What isn’t delightful about moving back and forth between a table in the sun and a table in the shade to play cards with your girlfriends?
What won’t I love about having time to read a book a week??
I mean, I can’t say for certain, because retirement is a lifestyle I just can’t relate to, but if I were to go out on a limb, I’d assume it would suit me just fine, thank you very much.
What I can tell you for sure – is that I plan to live my years until retirement appreciating the time that all too soon will have gone by – and looking forward to the day that my biggest worry will be which two- piece to
wear to the pool.
Don’t even think I’m kidding. I’m so not.
That was so funny! The wet come over sounds just as sexy as a mullet
Yes, but will you be wearing the suspenders for that “high fashion” look? That is the question.
ROFL ROFL ROFL
Good choice in guest bloggers. You could just picture (whether you wanted to or not) each of the people she was talking about.
Soliloquy, thanks for keeping us laughing and appreciating the day to day of life!
The comb-over comments made me almost choke on my coffee. Oh yes it did.
Oh I love it! And unfortunately, I could just picture all of it — I said ALL OF IT in my head – yikes! I agree with you, I much prefer bald to comb over anyday.
I must share a story this post reminded me of.
My minister (Pastor) of our church tells of how he was visiting an elderly lady who was well into her 90′s in a nursing home. She told him she was ready to meet Our Maker now and that she would die happy and content, as everything was now sorted. Our minister asked “What is now sorted?”. She replied “The last of my children is now settled in their retirement home, so I can stop worrying about that now”!!!
Just goes to show we never really stop worrying about our kids
Now I know that I am definitely doing the right thing in doing everything possible to keep my mom in her own home. She is so not ready for this kind of lifestyle.
Hmmm, you didn’t mention anything about comparing scars or discussing the latest in artificial joint replacements? Does that only happen in hospitals and rehab centers? I witnessed a bunch of that last week.
Yikes. The flirting. Yikes.
OK. I am trying to picture you at a retirement village. I am not wanting to picture you in a 2-piece but I have a very vivid imagination.
You must invent suspenders for your 2-pieces so they stay where there supposeta! A clip at the top of your bottoms and a clip at the bottom of your tops. Maybe your children’s mitten clips would do? Becuase I’m thinking there won’t be too much space between the 2 pieces.
Hee, hee. I can picture all of this. I think I will actually enjoy all of it once I get there. But I don’t want it to be too fast!
OH DEAR OH DEAR!!! Too funny – you describe it so well i can actually see it!
I hope you are getting rested!
Enjoy yourself!
Wow, I never thought about the fact that retirement would be so fun. Remind me to start doing free hair cuts for men when I’m that age…