One thing about having your bizness spread all over the World Wide Web, you have to be careful what you share. I’m sure I’m too out there sometimes, but I do try to keep some things to myself in the interest of the safety and well-being of my family. And because my mother and my former pastor may be reading. Ahem.
Last week my husband was out of town. ALL WEEK. That is rare for us. And I am SO VERY THANKFUL he does not travel regularly. I would be bald.
I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to do everything by myself, but I geared up for it. Besides, I figured if single parents everywhere do it day in and day out, I shouldn’t complain about five days alone. And so we sent my husband off to Chicago in a flurry of hugs and kisses and hunkered down for a week of being a family of four.
And you know what, we survived. However, there were a few things I learned while he was gone.
1) I like my husband more than I thought I did. That was a welcome tidbit of information. Okay, okay, I knew I liked my husband. But I’m pretty independent. I didn’t figure I’d miss him that much. I mean, it was only five days. As it turns out, he’s pretty nice to have around. I think I’ll keep him.
2) It is very lonely without another adult around. I know this sounds like a gimme but I usually love any opportunity to be alone. However. Having 3 kids underfoot is far from alone. And as much as I may enjoy their company (cough, cough) their companionship is just not the same as someone who is of drinking age. The last day my husband was gone, we got on the phone and talked nonstop for about 30 minutes. That’s when I realized that I was starving for adult interaction.
3) Bathtime is the pits. Hub always does the baths. I know; I’m spoiled. I’ve been told. But I love him for this. After being on bath duty for a week, I have a renewed appreciation for his willingness to own this chore when he’s around.
4) I am not a fun parent. I knew this before, but never have I felt so inadequate as I did last week when 6PM would roll around and my husband didn’t arrive home to entertain the kids. You could tell they felt it too because they would start to get all rammy when the sun went down. I think my son actually tried to take the place of my husband. He was wrestling with his sisters and chasing them around the house. And I actually allowed it because I figured at the very least, it might wear them out so they’d go to bed easily for me.
5) It’s easier to parent alone in the summertime. When I’ve been alone in the past, it’s always been summertime. It’s not so bad in the summer because it doesn’t get dark so early and the kids are usually outside playing until bedtime. Plus there is always a group of adults converging on the sidewalk as they supervise their kids so I’m not so lonely. But in the wintertime, when the sun goes down at 5PM and you realize there’s no one coming home, an eerie darkness settles over the house. I know the kids felt it too.
Suffice it to say, there were four very happy people in the house when my husband arrived home on Thursday afternoon. Hopefully work won’t call him away for quite some time. Or at least until the summer.
Did you learn anything new this week? Spill it in the comments!
And while you’re at it, I’d like to know if I did a What I Learned This Week Carnival, would anyone be interested in participating? Or are you already inundated with carnivals? I think it would be a fun one because it could be as serious or comical and as long or as short as you want. I’m thinking of Tuesdays. Let me know what you think!
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OO good lessons you learned with your husband gone! I learned that RSV sucks.. and when it turns into double ear infections it SUCKS MORE.. okay enough complaining
This weekend I learned that when my husband is away, I really crave adult conversation. I planned a weekend full of stuff so I would be around grown-ups. It was fun, but still long. I danced when he walked in the door a little while ago.
Carnivals are fun, Tuesday is one the days i don’t have one. lol
Clever and well said. I couldn’t help but smile and relate. Some days I WISH he’d take a trip so I COULD miss him tho..
Found you over at Twitter land. You will be one of my favs…I can tell.
Theresa
I’d love a carnival with that theme! It could turn out to be really hilarious and be a good bonding moment too for us moms!
And true, there are lots of carnivals, but then we get to pick and choose the ones we participate in… I would be in this one with both feet.
And my hubby does baths too. and bedtimes. I HATE it when he’s not here at bedtime. Right about that time, I’m used to relaxing… when he’s not here things are a little different. He’s also the saner one here. lol
I would love that theme, cause with three kids, I am always learning something new;)
My husband used to work some at night and that would be like him being gone for a 2 week period. Sleep all day, eat supper, go to work all night. I hated it, and missed him. I would call him when the kids went to sleep and talk forever!
I learned the my husband becomes very, very cranky when the Eagles lose. Well maybe I already knew that…
My husband does bathtime too. I loathe bathtime but he loves it so I let him have at it. I end up doing bedtime most of the time but he does it when I’m working late and I really do appreciate that.
I’d be up for a carnival. It could be really fun…and funny!
I learned that hitting a car in a parking lot is not as bad as having to tell your husband about it.
Great carnival idea! I’d totally try it out!
PS – You didn’t mention bedtime… is that because you put them down at 7pm like I try to when my husband is gone?
I learned that its okay to have a messy house once in awhile!
I think the carnival idea is great!
First of all, I want to know where you all found hubby that would give your kids baths every night?! Second, I really feel bad for your DH having to be in Chicago thru the horrible cold that we had last week – poor guy!
My DH used to be gone for 2-3 weeks at a time. It is REALLY hard but you learn how much you need them – and absence makes the heart grow fonder right?!
Hugs!
I can totally relate. When my husband goes out on trips, our routine at home is quite different. At the end of the day, my daughter is always looking forward to play with her daddy. It’s hard to tell a young child over and over again that he will be back in a few days. It’s never quite the same. I am proud of you for managing the time with your kids. Wish you all the best.
I learned that I can not stay up till 2 AM every night and get up at 7 and babysit for 3 grand kids the next day! I’m just saying! No one got hurt though!
Loved this post!
And I’m in!
Yes, my husband was in Chicago all last week too for work. We live in California, but he had to go.
Anyhow, yes I did miss him and I am glad he’s home! I enjoyed your post!
This week I learned 2 things: I missed exercising and that I like scrapbooking with friends.
Good post. Its not that you aren’t a fun parent, its that its hard to be a fun parent when you have to do it all. I learned that over the course of the last 6 months. I’m so busy keeping everything else in order that I can’t play at the same time. So there are nights where I let it all go to pot and make time to be the fun parent.
And I think you already know this, but as much as we can function without them, we would rather not!
I learned last week that I am so glad my husband is on shore duty with the Navy and won’t have to go back out to sea again for deployments. Our son is such a Daddy’s Boy that I can’t even fathom him being left behind by Dad again. In fact, I told the husband that if something happens and the Navy puts him back on a boat….the boy is packing a sea bag and going along!
What a great post! I can totally relate! My husband and I wrestle over who’s going to bathe and who will clean the kitchen. Currently, cleaning the kitchen is the coveted job!
I learned that I am snarky, but God is good. I posted about it on my blog.
When Amanda was a toddler, Terry traveled all the time. He was gone 2 to 4 days a week, at least 2 weeks out of the month!
I met a woman at MOPS whose husband was a contractor and was gone every single week. Each week that they were both gone, we would get together at least once — for a meal in one of our homes, or meet out for dinner, or get together during the day.
It was great to have adult company and companionship.
OMG, all of this is SO true- I have felt this way every time!
I’m not the fun parent, either. I wish I could be — but I’m not. So, I was glad to read this and know that I’m not the only one who feels that way! And, I’d happily participate in a weekly carnival sharing “what I’ve learned” (not that I learn much, mind you) — I think it’s a great idea!
I learned this week…..when your hubby has the stomach flu treat him royally…because YOUR day will come honey! – as I found out on Saturday night…ugh!..but good thing I had babied him! LOL
BTW, I think it’s a great idea!!
~Tidymom
My husband travels every other week nowadays. He leaves again tomorrow (he at least has today off!). I’ve gotten used to it in some ways but I know what you mean about the adult interaction!
And… the baths. That is one of my least favorite parent “chores!”
I think the carnival sounds like fun!
I like carnivals, but I rarely participate in the same one every week. I like knowing they are there when I’m feeling stuck on ideas.
And I am also not a fun parent. At all. I’m just not playful.
I learned a very important lesson this week. My life will not end abruptly if I step away from the computer. I disconnected this weekend and loved all the other things I did that did not have me connected to my laptop or cell phone. I am very co-dependent on my electronic buddies so it was a lovely reminder that I need to step away more often!
Can I just say you made me feel so much better about myself when I read #4 (not the fun parent)! That’s so true at our house too! My DH is most definitely the fun parent; I’m just the one who does all the boo boo’s and meal times and naptimes and clean laundry, etc.
oh yeah. I’d have close to the same list, but especially the bath one. That’s a Mateo job and I like it that way.
My husband was gone this past weekend too (Fri-Mon) and I was so happy when he returned. I really don’t know how single parents do it…and I only have one child to care for!
P.S. My husband has taken over bath time since I became pregnant and I am SO grateful. It’s wonderful to have that time to unwind at the end of the day.
I think it’s great that your husbands are so considerate. Unfortunately, my husband of 12 years used to read to the children. The last few years I’ve been devastated that he doesn’t help around the house or with the children much? I feel like I do everything. He’s always gone, says that he’s working late and gone on the weekends. I feel like he doesn’t want to be around me and my 2 children. Help? Does anyone have good advice? Thanks!
Tina, I feel your pain. Have you asked your husband for you and he to get away alone for dinner, overnight in a hotel? Just the two of you? Maybe he is “soften” up a little, if he feels you need him more and put him first in this fun way.
If he feels more relaxed, you can bring up the fact that you love him and need him. He may come around and do more with you, the children and help.
I hope this helps.
Oh, wow! I actually found you because I was looking for some tips on how to cope without hubby for long periods of time (like 2 months). He just got a promotion and will be headed to Asia for two months at a time over the next year. I have a 3 year old, I graduate from college in May and own a small business. To make matters worse, my family and friends live far away. I guess I will be seriously getting caught up on my reading as I live in a rural community without much to do. I really dread this—my hubby did bath time too!
I have been married 7 years. My husband doesn’t travel but is gone in other ways. The television, smoking out on the patio and drinking wine on the patio.
I don’t drink or smoke. I feel abandoned.