I’ve spent my entire adult life battling my addiction to food, and finally, at 37-and-a-half years of age, I have a taste of freedom. I don’t want to say I’m there yet, because I still backslide from time to time, but as soon as I overdo it, I feel so gross that I am instantly reminded of why I no longer live that way.
My slavery to food started, I believe, in college when I suddenly found myself putting on the pounds due to the impressive amounts of pizza and Coke I consumed. I tried to lose weight by cutting back, but I didn’t have much success so I sought out a popular diet plan that provided me with prepackaged food for almost every meal. It worked at first, but eventually I tired of the bland, processed foods and found myself cheating, which usually ended up in a junk food binge. One afternoon, for example, I ate an entire box of Girl Scout Cookies in about two hours. I cycled between dieting and binging and eventually lost 20 pounds, but it was a constant battle to keep it off. For years my mood was entirely dictated by the number on the scale every morning and night.
Yes, morning and night. Obsessive much?
After I had my first child, I turned to counting points to lose the last 10 pounds and to try to keep my weight where I liked it. Counting points appealed to my obsessive nature and my need for a formula, but I still found myself practicing the binge-and-starve approach to managing my weight that had served me well for so long. Or so I thought.
Two more children later, an aging metabolism, and years of destructive eating habits finally began to take a toll on my weight management abilities as well as my health. Riddled with stomach ailments and extra pounds that I could not seem to budge, I discovered the real food movement last summer. And Dinneen. And that’s when everything changed.
I used to say that my problem is that I just love food, but Dinneen taught me that it’s much more than that. Plenty of people love food and are not slave to its wiles. With Dinneen’s help, I learned that it’s not my love of food that has kept me on a dieting roller coaster for the past 20 years, but it’s my emotional attachment to food and the bad habits I’ve developed since becoming a busy mom.
Turns out, the low-fat diets that I relied on to keep my weight in check were sabotaging my ability to make lifestyle changes that were effective and sustainable because they did not satisfy my cravings and ultimately left me feeling deprived and frustrated. Counting points caused me to think about food all. the. time.
And while those neat packages of pre-packaged meals freed me from the food obsession, they left me feeling dissatisfied and deprived because they lacked the taste and the nutrients that we naturally desire. I always ended up “cheating” — a word that I now believe never should be applied to our diets.
Anyone can lose weight by counting points or cutting fat and calories, but only the most self disciplined can sustain it for the long haul because low-fat diets do not satisfy, nor do they properly nourish the body. I like a formula as much as the next guy, but it’s such a restrictive way to live, and besides that, it isn’t as fool-proof as we’ve been led to believe. This article by Tom Naughton is worth a read.
I always watched people who eat intuitively — stopping when they were full, only eating if they were hungry, choosing an apple over a bag of Doritos because they honestly felt like it — and I thought that I could never have that. I thought I would always be slave to diet plans and my “love for food.” We all hear that healthy eating “can’t be a diet; it has to be a lifestyle,” but I thought I was incapable of making that lifestyle a reality. I figured that I would live the rest of my life on the diet roller coaster, and that I was doomed to a love-hate relationship with food.
But today I am here to tell you that I AM FREE. I have learned how to eat intuitively, how to choose my foods wisely, stop when I’m satisfied, and eat only when I am hungry.
I will not say that I never over-eat, but I never binge anymore. I eat food that I like, and I am satisfied because it is wholesome and full of good fats and nutrients that my body craves. I’ve learned to focus more on how I will feel when I’m done than how it will taste going down, and I’ve learned to eat a better balance of foods, which helps me maintain my weight easier. I’ve also learned how to interpret my cravings correctly. For example, when I crave something sweet, eating a cookie just leaves me feeling icky and wanting more, but eating an apple satisfies my sweet tooth and leaves me feeling satisfied and full without that nasty bloated feeling you get when you eat too much carbs and sugar.
I would still love to lose five pounds and keep it off, but as I hone in on 40, I am willing to accept the number I see on the scale and be satisfied with the fact that I am healthy and fit (or getting there) and enjoy my new-found healthy relationship with food.
If I can do it, you can do it too. TRUST ME. Don’t let the skinny fool ya. It wasn’t a healthy thin. I was miserable.
You may be thinking, Yeah, that all sounds great, but she had help.
Yes, I did. And that is the reason I am writing this post today. I couldn’t have done this alone. Even though it sounds simple, I needed someone to look at what I eat and listen to me talk about how I eat and how I think about food and give me advice and counsel to get to where I am today. I am so thankful I found Dinneen. Which brings me to the second reason I am telling you all this.
Next Tuesday, March 9th, Dinneen is holding a FREE call titled “5 Simple Secrets to Eating Intuitively: How to Create a Healthy Relationship with Food, Mind and Body and Make it Work for You.”
You can register right now by going here.
On this call she will be sharing how she’s been eating intuitively and what it has done for her and her physical and mental health. I am not getting ANY kickback for telling you about this. I am telling you this because I want EVERYONE to know the freedom that comes from making peace with food.
Besides being a Certified Health Coach, Dinneen has also struggled with and overcome food issues including overeating, binging, using food for comfort, not being relaxed around food, and thinking about food all of the time. When she lived in France, she learned how to eat intuitively, so she brings both professional training and her own personal experience into her coaching. In other words, she’s the real deal.
I love her, and I know you will too. That Eat Without Guilt button on my sidebar — that’s her. She’s not paying me for that ad space. I have it there because I believe in what she offers and I want to promote her business. Let me know if you take the call and if you find it helpful. Also, you can sign up for her free newsletters, which is how I found out about this call.
Disclosure: I participated in the counseling program with Dinneen at my own cost. I am sharing my story only because it might help someone else, and I am not being compensated in any way.
I’ll definitely be checking out this information and signing up for the call. Thanks so much for sharing this!
I have never been one to ‘diet’ but I used to worry about my weight all the time too. I just don’t have the ‘discipline’ to work out at. all. Then when I was pregnant with my first (currently pregnant with my second) I actually learned to eat only when I was hungry and stop when I was full. I learned that because if I ate too much I felt TOO full because my stomach was up to my chest lol That 9 months totally changed my habits & after he was born I lost a lot of weight and kept it off. It really was great to know that I was eating healthy, organic food & feeling full AND losing weight! It is freeing. Thanks for sharing your story! I hope it helps someone!
I just want to say Jo-Lynne how honored and TOUCHED I am that you would write this. Wonderful clients like you, surprise me all the time by how much they get out of working together. I sometimes think *I* get so much out of working with people…..sounds so cliché, but reading something like this is truly what I do what I do.
And that you would just go ahead and write this, simply because you saw how I can help people live more ‘free’ lives, touches me so much. I almost feel like I was just awarded an Oscar and just got up on stage and don’t know what to say!! As I’m just so honored and touched.
My mission truly is to help women like you, and thank you for help spreading the message. Like you mentioned in this beautiful post, I’ve been through it all — I’ve dealt with my OWN issues and it’s one of the reasons why I’m able to help so many other people. The personal experience, along with the professional training, really gives me so much and so many tools to help others.
And I feel so blessed that I’m able to do what I do.
thank YOU Jo-Lynne — you touched my heart dearly and so blessed to have met and helped you
Dinneen
Well thank YOU. I’d never have gotten to the point I am without you!
Wow! Celebrating your freedom with you!
Well, I don’t want a phone call but I will agree with you that counting points and putting yourself on all sorts of restrictions is a surefire way to set up a very UNnatural eating pattern that simply cannot be sustained for the long haul.
I’m getting better at only eating when I’m hungry and for me that is a hard pattern because it involves pretty much not being hungry in the evening. At ALL. I like a balanced protein/carb breakfast and then a huge salad for lunch (a healthy salad, not one full of bacon bits and 5 tablespoons of ranch dressing!). I find I am just not hungry for dinner. This is hard for me/us because we eat together as a family pretty much every night for dinner. I don’t want my daughter to pick up any bad habits so I am eating a smidge just to hang with the family.
Has this happened to you?
Susan, I know what you mean. I try to plan so that I don’t find myself in that situation. And I often eat a light lunch. My biggest problem is that I LOVE to snack before dinner, and when I do it totally ruins my appetite. I have also discovered that I need very small quantities of food to feel satiated. It is hard to stop eating b/c I enjoy the food, so I am learning to take small helpings and eat slowly and thoughtfully and really enjoy it, and usually I can stop that way. It’s when I eat mindlessly that I overeat and regret it.
This will be something I will check out. Thanks for posting it!
I’ve never really had to diet, but I have had times when I have made efforts to improve my eating habits. Soda is one of my biggest weaknesses, but I have definitely reduced my consumption. Thank goodness for unsweet iced tea!
My MIL goes the low-fat route whenever she decides to lose weight and it never works. I can’t tell her it is because she is eating food that is fake and doesn’t taste good, but I wish she would figure it out. But it is easy for me to say because I have never had issues with portion control, like she does, so I can eat smaller servings of full fat food (and the like) without less consequence.
I love soda too. Nom nom. I still have a Coke on a rare occasion, but I don’t like how I feel afterwards.
I have watched you do this from afar (way afar, down here in texas)…..i am proud of you. you have worked hard & changed from the inside, and it the best thing is that you are changing the way your kids will eat. i am happy that you are free…..free is beautiful!!
Awwww, thank you!
And yes, it certainly is!
Thank you for the post. I want to get to that place also. I eat because .. I think because it makes me feel good for a moment, at a time when I’m ticked, mad, upset, sad, etc. It’s hard to get out of that cycle.
I loved, loved, loved this post!!! I can totally relate, with eating issues stemming from college where I obsessed and barely ate anything. (Getting down to a very unhealthy weight.)
I’ve actually signed up for the phone call and hope I remember.
I’m also wondering what you eat for lunch. I have the same problem about not being hungry at night. I also don’t want to be a bad example to my kiddos. However, I find if I don’t get full enough at lunch, I end up snacking way too much before dinner. Suggestions?
Lizz, I actually have the opposite problem. I have such a small appetite that if I eat a real lunch I’m often not hungry for dinner. But the one thing I really had to do was to limit my carbs — not b/c carbs are so bad but b/c I was eating way too many in relation to the rest of my diet.
So my favorite lunch is an egg with spinach. I keep a bag of frozen spinach in the freezer and nuke it. I fry or scramble the egg and sometimes add cheese. I also do a lot of leftover dinner. I try to make enough to have leftovers — soups are great, I love a hamburger left over (again, I’ll make spinach with it). If you need a heartier lunch, I’d definitely suggest the leftovers. I think the key is eating things high in protein and good fats b/c those tend to stick with you more.
Also, a glass of whole milk is a great mid-afternoon snack. It will fill you up. Or a banana?
What a great post. I may sign up for the call, not so much for myself, but for my husband. He definitely has food issues, but gets so frustrated that he won’t do anything about it. I can’t nag him, I just want to help him. Maybe I can pick up a pointer or two that will help.
I am working on becoming an intuitive eater and realize how hard it is. Good for you! But, I don’t think I’ll ever stop eating cookies
Oh I never said I stopped eating cookies.
I just don’t binge on them anymore.
Such a great article. I am also on the journey to no dieting. I just discovered Dineen and am clearing up my schedule to go to her free call next week! I will definitely share this with some people I know will appreciate your words.
Thanks so much for this post, JL, and I am REALLY excited for you and for all you’ve discovered. It is exciting to find the help you need, to conquer the things you need to conquer.
But … (okay, this is me, so maybe you were expecting that – haha!!)
No, seriously, I don’t have any “buts” for what you’ve said — it is great for you. I will note that some of us out here who weigh over 200 lbs, and consider a size 16 to be SMALL, are looking at you, rolling our eyes a little, and thinking, “what is she, a size 8??” And I know that’s awful, because your food issues were huge for you, and very serious, and needed addressing. But here’s my issue: there are lots of large women out here who DON’T have food issues. I’ve never chased after the diet insanity in my adult life; I saw it for the failure it was, the first time I tried it. All I had to do was CONSIDER a diet, and the first thing I wanted to do was eat. Clearly, this was intuitively a foolish thing. I don’t have food addictions; I don’t eat when I’m full. I don’t binge. I keep a bag of Hersey chocolates by my bedside and make them last a month. I don’t buy junk. (I’m with you on the real food thing, as you know.)
So, why do I weight over 200 lbs? Is it b/c I come from a line of heavy women? (I do.) Is it because I loathe institutionalized exercise as much as I loathe institutionalized food? (I do.) I go for walks. I have 4 kids and homeschool, so I’m busy and active. I eat a lot less than many women I know. And they’re a size 8, and I’m a size 18 (on a skinny day).
But people look at women like me as if we have secret food stashes in the back closet, as if we have no self-control, as if we’re not beautiful, blah, blah, blah.
Does Dineen have answers for these kinds of things?
Yeah, I hear ya. I didn’t talk about food on my blog for years b/c I knew that no one wants to hear a skinny girl talk about “food issues,” and when I pushed send on this post, I felt a little bit scared of that.
But for people who do struggle with this, no matter what their typical weight is, there is help, and they are who I wrote this post for. For those out there who are constantly on one diet or another, I want to give them the chance to find the freedom I’ve found.
Most notably, in my situation, is the absence of the stomach ailments that have been plaguing me for the past few years. I have been to more specialists and through more tests than I can even recall, and no one found anything. I changed my eating habits and the type of food I eat, and I am suddenly well. I didn’t expect that at all, but it has given me such a new lease on life. I mean, I used to spend evenings in bed with stomach aches and have to tell my kids mommy’s sick. I have left social gatherings b/c of it. To be free of that, and then free of the binge/starve cycle on top of it, well, it’s just amazing to me. I really never expected that to change.
It sounds like you have a healthy relationship with food, so to have people assume those things would be very hurtful. I don’t think there are any answers that Dinneen could provide because it doesn’t sound like the problem exists with you as much as with others.
But I want you to know that even as I pushed send on this post, I was sensitive to how I might sound to those who are overweight, and I’m sure you weren’t the only one rolling your eyes.
I just trust that those who know me and have hung around for a time will understand where I’m coming from.
Mary, after I published my reply I went back and re-read your comment and I see that you were asking if Dinneen has help for women who want to lose weight but don’t necessarily have an unhealthy relationship with food. Your last paragraph threw me off.
I would say definitely YES. She had me write down everything I eat and where I was eating and what I was doing when I was eating. Then we discussed how to eat thoughtfully and intentionally and not on the go. And she helped me see where my diet was out of balance — too many carbs, not enough produce. She gave me a different assignment each week so that I would create a new habit before tackling the next issue. I think that is how I’ve been able to actually make it a lifestyle change.
All that to say, I think she can definitely help those who aren’t emotional eaters. She is definitely on the “real food” bandwagon so she brings that philosophy to her counsel as well.
Hi Mary Kathyrn,
I saw your comment and wanted to respond. And thanks Jo-Lynne for your insight.
Let me first say Mary Kathyrn…I hear you.
Yes, definitely true that not everyone with weight issues falls into diets, binges, or has food issues. And it is too bad that people often assume that people who are overweight are lazy, have no willpower, they eat too much (which is NOT always the case), and they keep a stash of food like Hershey Kisses in their desk drawer.
There could be various reasons as to why you are at the weight you’re at.
Let me also say that like Jo-Lynne, even when I was ‘skinny’ people would assume I was just fine, healthy, and that I had great self-control. Well that couldn’t have been further from the truth. So just like people will judge overweight people, they’ll judge slim people too.
I also have a mother who has been overweight most of her adult life. I’ve actually always known her to be quite overweight (yes, she’s my biological mom). And if you see her eat you’ll see she doesn’t eat a lot. Or so it seems…
My point is it could be many issues and not necessarily just what you eat. From what you said you do eat healthy and take care of yourself.
When I work with someone one-on-one I first get a complete Health History of them so I can look at other factors. Because in my work I just don’t look at “the food”. There are so many other factors that go into someone’s weight. I look at the person as a whole, and other areas of their life.
It could also be some other health issue that could be contributing to your weight. And believe it or not, you could actually be not eating enough (I know that sounds strange but can be true).
So long story — my point is that yes, I do help people like you and look at many other factors. Because oftentimes it’s not just the food nor food issues.
Though I do work with women who have food issues, I also work with women like you who just can’t seem to lose those unwanted pounds. And it doesn’t mean you want to (nor should!) be a size 8. It’s about getting to a weight YOU’RE comfortable with.
I hope this helps and if you have any other questions feel free to contact me.
Thanks Jo –
This post got me thinking – a LOT – in fact its been on my mind since I read it yesterday.
Being an on again off again WW for about 20 years – I think there has to be a better way.
Off to do more thinking!
(you know how you know you are almost ready to make a HUGE change but you just need more time…. that is where I am LOL)
It’s scary, isn’t it, when you’ve relied on that formula for years. It’s hard to let go of it. I think WW helped me judge correct portion size. I have to keep my portions very small, and we have Americanized our interpretation of a portion size so that we hardly know how to eat without overeating anymore. I am still learning that my eyes are usually bigger than my stomach. Whenever I cut back, I feel so much better, and my clothes fit better too.
I also love food and have often noticed that I tend to overeat or eat when I am down, etc. I have not had a weight issue, but like you said, even if you are “skinny”, that does not mean you are healthy. My goal for this year is to increase my exercising, which I know will help me to stay healthy. But you’ve also got me thinking about paying better attention to what and how I eat too. Thanks for the honest post.
I’ve learned a lot by watching my kids eat. It amazes me how they stop when they are full, even if there is still half a bowl of ice cream left. Or when my daughter asks for a third helping of eggs, eats one bite and then says, “okay, now I’m finished.” Somewhere along the road of growing up, we morph into the clean your plate club.
I agree whole-heartedly in thinking about how the food will make you feel AFTER you eat it, not just during. That’s why I too drink very few sodas anymore. I enjoy the first few sips, then fill all bloated and blah afterwards.
Great post.
YES! I never make my kids finish their food. Now, they may not have dessert if they ate no dinner, but if they are full, I tell them to stop. And I make them sit and eat at the table. Both of those are habits I hope to instill in them at an early age.
loved.this.post.
I’ve been learning this concept of eating intuitively through the Mamavation program this year. My relationship with food has totally changed.
I’m so glad to hear that! Doesn’t it make SUCH a difference in your outlook on life?