Unglued {Giveaway}

Raise your hand if you remember the olden days of blogging.

I’m talking about back before there were blogging conferences on every street corner and the idea of blogging as a business was utterly foreign . . . back when the most popular bloggers were exquisite writers, and only bloggers read blogs, and we all wrote anonymously and went by silly pseudonyms. Remember that?

That is when I met Lysa TerKeurst.

I attended the She Speaks Conference (a speaker’s and writer’s conference for Christian women run by Proverbs 31 Ministries) back in 2008 when they added a blogging track to their lineup and called in some of the biggest bloggers in the blogosphere at the time as speakers. I had an AMAZING time, which is documented at great length here.

I remember being surprised and impressed with the way Lysa took the time to mingle and talk to the conference attendees. She was a bit of a rockstar, but you’d never know it by how friendly and available she was to her audience. We actually got to know each other a bit over the next year via our blogs, and in 2009 she had me back to the She Speaks Conference as a speaker. It was the first time I ever spoke at a blogging conference — or a conference of any kind, for that matter! It was one of the greatest honors of my life, and I mean that sincerely.

Here is a picture of us together at the conference in 2009.

I am delighted to have Lysa TerKeurst as a guest blogger today and to introduce you to her newest book, Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions. Lysa is the founder of Proverbs 31 Ministries, an author many times over, a sought after speaker and also a friend. Forgive me for the lengthy introduction, but I want you to know what a privilege it is for me to have Lysa posting on Musings of a Housewife today!

And now, without further adieu . . .

Dealing with Daily Frustrations

by Lysa TerKeurst

I was talking with a customer service agent from an online company I have enjoyed doing business with for years. I called thinking she could help me with a return. But when I explained I needed to return this certain item, things started to head south with our conversation.

She informed me that my item wasn’t on the returnable list. It was on the final sale list. I had no clue there was a returnable list and a final sale list. It wasn’t posted online or stated in their catalog.

I logically stated my case and felt sure she would see things my way. But she didn’t. No matter what I said or explained, she wouldn’t budge.

I knew the lady on the other end of the phone was just following procedure, but it made no sense. It wasn’t right and I was frustrated!

And my tone of voice made it clear just how frustrated I was.

Later that same day, I was in line at the grocery store behind a man who wanted to use an expired coupon. The check out gal calmly stated she couldn’t honor his coupon. Well, he didn’t like that one bit. And he made sure everyone around them knew how much he didn’t like this situation.

I stood back appalled at his actions.

Until … I started thinking about the fact that I’d acted almost the same way with the customer service agent who refused what I wanted. The conviction wove its way through my heart and made me feel so badly for the way I’d reacted toward that woman.

After my call, she probably moved on to the next frustrated customer. And then the next. And then the next. Suddenly, I felt so sorry for her.

I decided it wasn’t her desire to not be able to help me. She was truly just following the orders of the higher-ups at her company. I imagined her packing up her things at the end of another long day and heading home. A home where she had to face her own daily aggravations and frustrations.

That’s when it hit me. While on the phone, I never pictured her as a person really. To me, she was just a voice on the other end of the phone that was causing me extreme frustration.

How might my reaction have been different if I’d stopped to think about her as a woman just like me? What might it be like to be her, to live her life, and to have to go to her job every day?

I decided God was trying to get my attention to be more aware of my reactions. More aware of handling daily frustrations in a way that reflects a heart that loves the Lord. In today’s key verse, Luke 8:15, Jesus reminds us, “But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.” (NIV 1984)

I want Jesus’ message to fall on a heart that is humble and fertile enough to:

Receive God’s Word …

Retain God’s instruction, and …

Reflect God’s character in both my action and reactions.

When I stop to think about this, I am challenged. Whether I am talking with a customer service representative I don’t know or interacting with those I do everyday life with, I want to work towards being a woman who displays godly character. Just like Luke 8:15 encourages, whether I’m having a frustrating conversation or a friendly one, may God’s messages of truth have such an impact on me that my heart and my mouth remain noble and good.

About Lysa TerKeurst:

Lysa TerKeurst is a New York Times bestselling author, National Speaker, and President of Proverbs 31 Ministries. You can read her daily blog at LysaTerKeurst.com or hear her encouragement through the Proverbs 31 Ministries’ radio program played on over 1200 outlets. She loves that the first four letters of Messiah spell a “mess.” All of the messages Lysa speaks and writes about come from her awareness of what a mess she can be. Most days you can find her writing from her sticky farm table in North Carolina where she lives with her husband Art, her five priority blessings named Jackson, Mark, Hope, Ashley, and Brooke, 3 dogs and a mouse that refuses to leave her kitchen.

I don’t know about you, but I find it really challenging to keep my emotions in control on a daily basis. In Lysa’s new book, Unglued, she shares personal experience and scriptural wisdom to help us make godly and healthy decisions with our reactions. You can purchase a copy on Amazon.com, or you might . . .

Win a Copy of Unglued!

Unglued BookTwo lucky MOAH readers will receive a copy of Lysa’s book, Unglued!!

To be entered to win, simply leave a comment on this post telling me what gets you unglued; or what is your biggest challenge to keeping your emotions in control?

I could totally relate to Lysa’s story. I, too, have found myself so often on that phone call, wanting to take out my frustrations on that faceless, nameless voice on the other end of the line. But I suppose my biggest challenge to staying in control of my emotions is in dealing with my kids. I hate to admit it, but I lose that battle so many more times than I win it. I am eager to read Lysa’s book and hopefully glean a few nuggets of wisdom to help my on my journey to godliness.

Fine Print: Winners must have a U.S. mailing address. I will use the And The Winner Is plugin for WordPress to randomly select 2 winners on Wednesday, August 29th. When the comments are closed on this post, you will know the giveaway is over. I will announce the winners on Facebook and Twitter, and I will send a personal email, giving the winners three days to accept. If there is no reply, I will select another winner. See my Giveaway Policies for more details.

Comments

  1. says

    Right now my work/life situation is very stressful and makes me come unglued a lot. More than it should. Basically feeling out of control is my trigger. Sounds like a great book!

  2. Stefani says

    I too, come unglued with my children way more than I would like. Specifically when I have to repeat myself multiple times because nobody is listening. I am looking forward to reading this book!

  3. says

    My kids…usually when I’ve just cleaned and the mess making starts immediately. It’s usually never intentional on their part but my reactions are totally ungracious.

  4. says

    I hate it but my husband and kids! I’m finding I can be such a control freak and don’t like when things get out of control. Yikes! I need this book!

  5. Leanne says

    My two incredible boys, ages 5 and 2, really get my unglued when they will not listen to anything I say. I have to repeat myself over and over again until my stress level is so fired up, that I lose control & yell at them. I feel so horrible afterwards and I know that I need to control my anxiety. Reading this post has me wanting to read this book to find some scriptural wisdom every day. I definitely need to do that and I think it will help me to understand my emotions.

  6. Lindsey says

    My house, when it gets disorganized, I become a time bomb and I hate that my family pays the price. I would love to read this book.

  7. says

    What gets me unglued? When my husband thinks he’s helping clean up and puts something where it doesn’t go AND DOESN’T REMEMBER WHERE HE PUT IT! Argh!

  8. Christa says

    Hate to say it, but my husband and kids have me unglued. every little thing that they do frustrate me.

  9. Julie says

    My unglued moments embarass me – I don’t know how some people share them so well. I am not a morning person and after hitting the snooze button 1 too many times, I am running late and try so hard not to take it out on my sweet kiddos. But, sometimes I do. And I am so embarassed to admit it. To you and to myself and to my poor sweet girls. I really hate this part of myself.

  10. says

    Right now, the shifting of schedules is what can get me unglued!!
    Thanks for offering the book! I can’t wait to get my hands on it!

  11. says

    Unglued. That’d be me after working at home all summer with my son home almost 100% of it (usually he’s out for baseball and football all summer). I’m unhitched, unglued and have been known to be downright rude. I need heylup.

  12. says

    I’m a little unglued about my teenager’s messy room right now. Trying really hard to figure out how to address it when she gets home from youth group. :)

    I will never forget She Speaks 2009. It was the first time I met YOU, dear friend! :)

  13. Jennifer Young says

    Well, just reading the comments makes me feel better. My darling 18-month-old has me coming apart at the seams. I often wonder why God made (most of) us women SO emotional. It’s incredibly difficult when you want to be in control and then you just explode. Thanks for the giveaway. I need to check out this book.

  14. Beth says

    Oh boy, you want me to pick just one thing that makes me come unglued? I guess I’ll go with not feeling in control, that covers most everything, lol.

  15. Melinda T says

    Hmm, its a mix of being slow at work, my 2 girls and a husband who doesn’t want to do his share thats gotten me unglued! I tend to get mad and lash out, but I’ve been trying to keep calm, relax and think before I speak!

  16. says

    gotta be honest, i’d never feel sorry for someone blindly following procedure when procedure makes no sense. why not at least sympathize, say “i’ll see what i can do” or offer SOME KIND OF COMPROMISE? people who make exceptions and understand that silly rules can be bent or broken are my favorite kind of people, and people who say “ma’am i can’t help you” are never gonna be friends of mine. i guess this is ugly but there you go.

    • Emily Groth says

      In the same breath though, things can’t always go our way, and that’s just life. Too many kids are taught that they will get their way if they throw a big enough tantrum, yell scream, and cry, and demean the other person, there are also many adults who do this. I think its silly to throw a tantrum over such small things, when I usually just roll my eyes, shrug, and move on with my day. Most rules have a reason for being in place. Maybe ask yourself why this rule could possibly exist the next time you get frustrated by a “silly” rule.

    • Emily Groth says

      Also, on a side note … most people in these positions are not in positions of authority! Most CAN’T bend the rules, because they are not given any way to. For example, my supervisors have to “override” certain transactions when I cashier bc I don’t have the authority to proceed. I definitely agree with sympathizing, and truly seeing what they can possibly do to help you out, but angry customers who just yell and complain at me make me want to help them even less! Now THAT is an ugly truth for you.

      • says

        emily i think you misunderstand my comment. you seem to believe that i’d “throw a tantrum,” when i never indicated anything to that effect. i don’t believe it’s at all unreasonable for people to question a rule that truly IS silly (no ironic quotation marks). that’s why i used the word silly. not allowing people to return underwear is an understandable rule. not allowing them to return something like a bowl or a backpack is silly. (of course i don’t claim to know what Lisa was trying to return; my point is simply that store policies don’t always make sense.) i also never said or implied that a person should go beyond her authority. it isn’t out of line for an employee to at least take a problem to a superior when her hands are tied but she feels the customer’s concern deserves to be heard. my problem is with people who, as i said, BLINDLY stick to rules when they are, in fact, silly. it’s a hyperbolic comparison, but it’s like those old laws about having a horse in your bathtub or something. of COURSE it’s not a hill to die on, but just “rolling my eyes and moving on with my day” isn’t the only acceptable, civil response when something bothers me. there are many options between “tantrum” and just letting it go.

  17. says

    So, I read the question and immediately thought of my reaction to my 6 yr old’s over tired sassy attitude at bedtime. It wasn’t pretty. Not one bit. I wondered how bad it was that it’s my kids that get me so unglued. Then I read your next line. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Oh how heavily I need to rely on God’s grace on this crazy journey called parenting.

  18. says

    I can totally relate to that customer service phone conversation. I need to learn how to react positively with everyday frustrations. It’s a good reminder to try putting on the other person’s shoes and see that she is not deliberately causing the frustration but is usually just following standard procedures. Great post!

  19. Emily Groth says

    I become unglued by my customer service job. I like making folks happy and seeing them smile, but boy it can wear on ya! This book sounds super interesting.

  20. Mandy S says

    I most often come unglued with my kids. I can think I’m doing great for the day and then the littlest thing sets me off. It’s usually something totally silly and not worthy of the giant explosion that happens.

  21. says

    Well I’m still adjusting to being a new mommy and we are in the throws of teething and it is HARD CORE! My sweet little one will not eat or sleep much and sometimes I come unglued. I just want him to eat! I know it won’t last forever, but for new moms everything is a big deal. :)

  22. Kim says

    I become “unglued” being the bonus mom to three kiddos ages 12, 13, and 14 and then find myself taking it out on others including my dear husband.

  23. Teri S says

    I come unglued when it comes to “professionals” who play the role of God! I’ll pick on traditional M.D.s. Why is it that they think a few more years in school than I gives them the divine omniscience to condescendingly tell me everything about my body or my children’s bodies? As moms, we do spend more time with our children than they (therefore, might have an extra clue more than they?) and BTW, we can research for ourselves and our children to find what is best for us/our children. Not everybody follows their pharmaceutical-written textbook ways like lemmings! Most of my research shows me that illnesses are NOT a deficiency in pharmaceuticals as they believe! Yet, they patronizingly pat me on the knee and tell me (in so many words) that I am mistaken. Grrrr! Doctors…….
    Ahhh, got THAT off my shoulders! ….feeling better now! ;-)

  24. says

    I am a SAHM to 3 kids. My oldest turns 5 in a couple of days. He has a special way of setting me off. I was actually comforted to read the other comments that said their kids make them come unglued! This is me. My 5 year old makes me stay unglued! I don’t know why and I can’t seem to get a handle on it. Every day, I tell myself that we won’t have our household meltdown. Every day, this cycle repeats itself. Maybe this book was written for me! I appreciate the chance to win a copy.

  25. says

    I’m the worst when I’m driving. I don’t know why I let such silly things affect me so much but I’ll admit that I do. I’m really trying to take a deep breath and let it go though!

  26. Andrea Chase says

    When things get done half way. For instance, when asked to put away the laundry, that ends up being laundry being placed on the bed, not in proper places. Or, say when you tell the kids “Hurry up and jump in the car, we are running late”, they do as they are told but an hour later when you come home your house is flooded because “someone” forgot to turn off the laundry room sink that was being filled as a Barbie pool! True story!

  27. Paula says

    I tend to come unglued when I am really tired or don’t feel well. During those times, I really want to be left alone but with children and a busy life, that rarely happens and I usually end up losing it.

  28. says

    Usually when I have had too little sleep, the kids are whining, and the house is a mess I become unglued. Thanks for the giveaway.

  29. Ann says

    Mornings unglue me – my goal is to get my two children a good breakfast and send them off to school with a smile on their face and a happy heart, and that first hour of the day is hard!!! I watch the clock while they seem to get diverted by every little thing and I end up barking orders constantly. I hope to read this book soon so I can nag less, smile more!!!! Really enjoy your writing!!

  30. KD says

    When I wake up every morning asking God to help me have patience with my children and then blow it 30 minutes later as I yell at them as we hurry through the morning routine :-(

  31. says

    I remember those days :-) And I love Lysa!
    I totally bought this book last night. Should be here soon (love amazon Prime)! Hi Jo-Lynne!

  32. says

    Definitely my biggest challenge is my husband.. . his harsh words really un-glue me. Especially if I am sensitive already : )

  33. Emily Groth says

    @ Erin … I guess I assumed that when you talked about rules being bent or broken, that meant that you expected people to go beyond their normal authority at times (which is of course, impossible, unless they called a superior over). I’m glad that you realize that underwear returns and the like are aggravating to retailers. Every summer, countless women (and men, but far more women) but multiple bathing suits, with multiple pieces, and then return all but one set, bc they wanted to try them on or decide at home. What they don’t realize is that for legal reasons, it is unsanitary for us to resell returned bathing suits/lingerie/plus many other items. So when that happens, the store has to mark the product as “defective”, aka non-resellable, and lose money on the whole ordeal. … all that to say, thanks for a thoughtful response.

  34. Tara says

    I heard of this book just yesterday and thought, I need to check this one out. Love that you’ve “known” her for so long! What gets me unglued is getting out the door w/ all my minis in tow — most notably, getting everyone to the bus stop! I have been feeling waves of anxiety lately, knowing that the school days are coming back around. I’d love to start the day on a better foot, but fear old routines and habits. I think her book would be great at reminding me to bring it back around… to who and what is really important.

  35. Debbie H says

    I have seen this book promoted on several blogs and each blogger has given me a little snippet of what’s inside Lysa’s book. I would LOVE to win a copy!

  36. says

    Oooo, would love this book. My kids would say traffic makes me unglued. LOL. But I think it’s when I have to repeat myself a gazillion times and still no one listens.

  37. Deanna says

    When my children act disrespectful, I have to fight becoming unglued. I don’t alway succeed and I wish I could say that I never become unglued when they roll their eyes or sass at me for reminding them to take care of their business but sometimes I do just, well, become unglued.

  38. Erin says

    When my kids are not listening or fighting. I can loose it really quickly, and I know I need to work on not becoming unglued in those moments. I know I need to work on the pause and take a deep breath before reacting to them.

  39. Jenna says

    I try my hardest to keep it together, but repeated whining from my two year old can cause me to become unglued pretty fast! Would love to ready more in the book!