From the category archives:

Love and Marriage

what-i-learned-this-weekI’ve lived in the greater Philadelphia area for going on 14 years, and for many of those years I lived a stone’s throw from the city, but I had never been to the famed Reading Terminal Market until last weekend.  After our free night at the Park Hyatt, we found ourselves on Saturday morning in the city with no plans.  My parents had agreed to take the kids to the zoo for the day so we could pretty much do anything we wanted.

We were like a couple of teenage kids after their parents left them alone for the weekend — giddy with freedom and no clue what to do with it.  We debated everything from going home and getting some projects done around the house, to meeting my parents and the kids at the zoo (much to my mother’s amusement), to visiting the Art Museum.  In the end, we decided to drive over to Reading Terminal Market for breakfast and for the cultural experience because we are classy and sophisticated, not to mention easily lured by cheap home-cooked food and stalls of raw meat and fresh produce.

The irony of our visit to Reading Terminal Market may be lost on non-locals.  For one thing, you have to understand where we live.  My neighborhood backs up to a working dairy farm, and we frequent a nearby farmer’s market that sells locally grown produce and home baked Amish goods.  We needn’t drive all the way into Center City Philadelphia for fresh produce and baked goods.  But while the Reading Market has all that, it has much, much more.  The website sums it up like this:

More than 80 merchants offer patrons fresh produce, meats, fish, groceries, flowers, baked goods, crafts, books, clothing, as well as hard-to-find specialties and ethnic foods.

It’s also the nation’s oldest continuously operating farmers’ market, which is just cool in and of itself.

When we walked in, I was in awe of the sheer magnitude of vendors and their wares.  I wish I’d had my camera (and a working flash) so I could show you what I’m talking about.  There were vendors selling prepared foods of virtually every ethnicity imaginable as well as all the local specialties like Philly cheesesteaks, soft pretzels, and Pennsylvania Dutch treats.  But it was the raw meat and fish that caught my eye.  I could have spent hours at the meat stands.  We wanted to buy steaks to bring home but we knew we had to make several stops on our way and were afraid of it going bad.  And then there were the fresh flower stands.  My husband’s mighty lucky he doesn’t work nearby because I would be expecting flowers OFTEN if he had such easy access to those gorgeous affordable bouquets.

Finally we made our way back to the Dutch Eating Place — a counter service restaurant serving Pennsylvania Dutch breakfasts and lunches.  The line was daunting, but it looked as if it was moving fast, so we decided to take our chances.  Sure enough, within 15 minutes we were seated at the counter eating plates of French Toast and fried eggs and bacon with freshly squeezed orange juice and bottomless cups of coffee.

Then we walked next door to Beiler’s Bakery where we scored freshly baked cinnamon rolls and sticky buns for our Mother’s Day breakfast table and THE most delicious dinner rolls EVER that we served with Mother’s Day dinner.  Suffice it to say that if I lived within walking distance of Reading Terminal Market, I would be out shopping for bigger clothes.

After we had our fill of the market (and I mean FILL in a literal sense; oh my WORD we were full when we left there), we stopped by Ikea and the mall on our way home.  Once home, we just enjoyed the peace and quiet of our house sans kids for a few hours.  We talked of doing productive tasks such as cleaning out the garage or setting up the shelves in our laundry room, but we ended up puttering around, watching some TV, and chatting with the neighbors.  It’s amazing how having kids will change your idea of a fun time.

So basically, this week I learned that even though I can get local produce and freshly baked Amish goods right down the street, there is nothing quite like visiting an historic mega farmer’s market plopped smack dab in the middle of a large city.  I also learned that getting away with your significant other for some much overdue together time is invaluable for your relationship.  Try it!  Really.

So what did you learn this week?!

CLICK HERE for the complete carnival rules. Here is the Cliffs Notes version:

1. Any time this week, publish your What I Learned This Week post on your blog and link to this post.  Please only link in if you wrote a What I Learned This Week Post.

2. Link up with the Mr. Linky form down below. Please put the link to your POST, not the front page of your blog. More on that here.

3. Then visit the other participants and see what they learned this week. And comment, comment, comment! Spread the love! :-)

Alrightythen. Ready, Set, GO!

Print

{ 21 comments }

You may have heard that Works For Me Wednesday has a new home over at We Are THAT Family. I had the privilege of meeting Kristen at Blissdom, and she is just lovely. This week she wants us to share the tip that has helped us the most so I went back through my archives, and I thought this one bears repeating. Back in February of 2007, Shannon asked us to:

Share with us the best relationship advice you can give. Or, share with us some ideas for making Valentine’s Day special for your sweetie or your kids.

Here is what I said:

I’m gonna choose the option #1, although I’m not sure I’m best qualified to give relationship advice this week. If I were giving advice based on lessons I’ve learned over the past 24 hours, it would go something like this:

1) Don’t shove all three kids at the husband the minute he walks in the door and say something like, “Good, your home. They’re all yours.” Guys don’t take too kindly to that. They seem to think they need time to unwind after a long day at work. What’s that all about, anyway? I thought that’s what that 30-minute commute was for.

2) When the husband calls from work at the witching hour and excitedly tells you about some new job responsibility and opportunity for professional growth and recognition, try to show some interest. As opposed to interrupting him to yell at the kids and then asking grumpily what time he plans to get home.

As helpful as I’m sure that is to you, I’ve tried to come up with some of the bigger lessons I’ve learned over the last 12 years of marriage. These are nothing is new or unusual, but it took me some time to get it down pat, so maybe it will be helpful to someone.

So here we go. The best relationship advice I have to offer:

1) Take at least 15 minutes every day and sit down together and talk. Really listen to what the other has to say. Relationships need time to refuel.

2) Don’t try to change him (or her). Focus on the qualities you like about your partner, try to remember the reasons you fell in love in the first place. And then overlook the rest. It’s amazing what changing your attitude about someone can do for a relationship.

3) Swallow your pride. Learn to say, “I was wrong. I’m sorry.” Why is it SO HARD to say these words to the people we love the most?

dsc_0004-1

Got something to add?  Give us your best relationship advice.

For more Works For Me Wednesday tips, head on over to We Are THAT Family.

Print

{ 14 comments }

One thing about having your bizness spread all over the World Wide Web, you have to be careful what you share.  I’m sure I’m too out there sometimes, but I do try to keep some things to myself in the interest of the safety and well-being of my family.  And because my mother and my former pastor may be reading.  Ahem.

Last week my husband was out of town.  ALL WEEK. That is rare for us.  And I am SO VERY THANKFUL he does not travel regularly.  I would be bald.

I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to do everything by myself, but I geared up for it.  Besides, I figured if single parents everywhere do it day in and day out, I shouldn’t complain about five days alone.  And so we sent my husband off to Chicago in a flurry of hugs and kisses and hunkered down for a week of being a family of four.

And you know what, we survived.  However, there were a few things I learned while he was gone.

1) I like my husband more than I thought I did. That was a welcome tidbit of information.  Okay, okay, I knew I liked my husband.  But I’m pretty independent.  I didn’t figure I’d miss him that much.  I mean, it was only five days.  As it turns out, he’s pretty nice to have around.  I think I’ll keep him.  

2) It is very lonely without another adult around. I know this sounds like a gimme but I usually love any opportunity to be alone.  However.  Having 3 kids underfoot is far from alone.  And as much as I may enjoy their company (cough, cough) their companionship is just not the same as someone who is of drinking age.  The last day my husband was gone, we got on the phone and talked nonstop for about 30 minutes.  That’s when I realized that I was starving for adult interaction.

3) Bathtime is the pits. Hub always does the baths.  I know; I’m spoiled.  I’ve been told.  But I love him for this.  After being on bath duty for a week, I have a renewed appreciation for his willingness to own this chore when he’s around.

4) I am not a fun parent. I knew this before, but never have I felt so inadequate as I did last week when 6PM would roll around and my husband didn’t arrive home to entertain the kids.  You could tell they felt it too because they would start to get all rammy when the sun went down.  I think my son actually tried to take the place of my husband.  He was wrestling with his sisters and chasing them around the house.  And I actually allowed it because I figured at the very least, it might wear them out so they’d go to bed easily for me.

5) It’s easier to parent alone in the summertime. When I’ve been alone in the past, it’s always been summertime.  It’s not so bad in the summer because it doesn’t get dark so early and the kids are usually outside playing until bedtime.  Plus there is always a group of adults converging on the sidewalk as they supervise their kids so I’m not so lonely.  But in the wintertime, when the sun goes down at 5PM and you realize there’s no one coming home, an eerie darkness settles over the house.  I know the kids felt it too.

Suffice it to say, there were four very happy people in the house when my husband arrived home on Thursday afternoon.  Hopefully work won’t call him away for quite some time.  Or at least until the summer.

Did you learn anything new this week?  Spill it in the comments!

And while you’re at it, I’d like to know if I did a What I Learned This Week Carnival, would anyone be interested in participating?  Or are you already inundated with carnivals?  I think it would be a fun one because it could be as serious or comical and as long or as short as you want.  I’m thinking of Tuesdays.  Let me know what you think!

* * *

Hey, check out the Tiny Prints giveaway at Mommy Musings!

Also, don’t miss the Disney Wheel of Fortune Board Game GIVEAWAY on Reviewsings.com.

Print

{ 28 comments }

How Did You Meet Your Honey?

by Jo-Lynne on September 12, 2006

in Love and Marriage, Storytelling

I saw this over at Barb’s place.  I have always thought that the story of how I met my honey is pretty neat, so here you go!

It was the summer before my senior year in college.  I stayed in the
area for a summer job.  Three friends and I agreed to go in together on
an apartment for the summer.  We thought we had one lined up, but a
week before we were to move in, it fell through.  So we were
scrambling.  For the few weeks until we could find another place, I
negotiated with a few families to trade my babysitting services for
room and board.  During that time, one of our roommates dropped out.

Bear with me here.  (Is it bare or bear??)  These details DO pertain to the story, I promise!

So we found a sublease on an apartment at the nearby seminary, and we
moved in, but we still needed another roommate to help make the rent.
We advertised in a local paper, and there was just one response, a girl
whose boyfriend lived at the seminary.  She thought it would be fun to
live close by him for the summer.  She was a college graduate living in
the area, and I still have no idea why she was interested in a
two-month rental arrangement.  It seemed strange.  SHE seemed
strange.  But, like I said, she was the only person who answered the ad.
So she moved in.

Her boyfriend was in and out some, and my other two roommates and I all agreed that he was, um, a little different.  Nice guy, but, you know, different.

After a few weeks, they started telling me that I should date this
guy’s roommate.  I couldn’t help but wonder what sort of strange bird
the roommate would be.  I pretty much ignored their attempts to set us
up.  Evidently they were bugging him about me too.

At the beginning of August, I got a phone call.

"Um.  This is your roommate’s boyfriend’s roommate," said a male voice on the other end of the line.

"I guess that would be Hubby," I said.  (I used his real name of course.)

"Yeah."  Swallow.  "So. I was wondering if you’d like to go out to dinner this weekend."

I figured, what do I have to lose?  I didn’t exactly have men beating down my door.  So I said, "sure", and we set a time.

My roommate was ecstatic.  She assured me he was
good-looking and nice and fun, and even admitted to a small
crush on him at one point.  Needless to say, that did little to instill
confidence.

The night of the date arrived.  He would pick me up at six.  I rushed
home from my babysitting job, arriving home at 5:30 after a day at the
beach.  I jumped in the shower and got ready in less than 30 minutes. I
remember what I wore — a white t-shirt and my favorite red
gingham miniskirt.  I thought it was adorable.  But years later, Hubby
would tell me all he could think of when he looked at it was a
tablecloth.  Fortunately for him, he waited until after we were married
to make this pronouncement.

When he knocked at the door that night, my roommate introduced us.  He was a
welcome surprise — tall, dark and handsome and not a bit, you know, different.

We went to dinner.  Afterwards neither of us wanted to go home, so we
decided to see a movie.  We continued dating throughout my senior year
of college, which was also his final year of seminary.

When it came time to graduate, I wasn’t sure I was ready for marriage,
so we went to our respective homes, him to Pennsylvania and me to
Virginia.  After being apart for a month, I knew I didn’t want to live
another minute without him.  We got
engaged in September and married the following August.  And here we
are, eleven years and three kids later!

So today I thank God for the apartment that fell through and the first
roommate that dissed us and that we only got one answer to that ad in
the newspaper.

NOTE:  Hubby would tell you that his two roommates had been bugging him all summer
to call me, and he wasn’t interested in dating anyone.  He was immersed
in his seminary studies and working full-time as a security officer.
When he finally made the call, he said it was basically to get them off his
back.  So I’m also thankful that he had two really annoying roommates
who basically goaded him into calling this mystery girl.

ANOTHER NOTE:  The roommates got married as well.  We still hear from them occasionally.

Print

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

I got in my car earlier tonight to go to the dentist.  (Where else!?)

Husband followed me outside to announce, “C just woke up.”  (She had fallen asleep on the couch and slept through dinner.)

He continued, “She wet her pants.  And the couch.  What do I do?”

To which I responded as any sensitive wife and mother would,  “Ummm.  Buh-BYE.”

Oh yes, I did.  And I got in the car and left.  With a bit of a smile on my face, I believe.

I think I got the good end of that deal, wouldn’t you say?

* * *

You can add this your list of things you don’t want to hear from your dentist when you are lying prone in a dental chair with your mouth braced open, while he is installing one of three crowns:

“Is that the right one?”

Nice.  Way to instill confidence in your helpless patient.  I was concerned for a while there, but evidently he figured out the puzzle.

* * *

I’m back home, and thus ends the saga of the Lower Left Quadrant.  Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode, The Upper Right Quadrant.

Meanwhile, I’m back home, and while my mouth is de-numbing and I get Baby R to bed, Hub is gonna make margaritas because I deserve it.  And besides, does one NEED a reason to make margaritas?

Print

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

Eleven Years, Baby!

by Jo-Lynne on August 5, 2006

in Love and Marriage

Eleven years of marriage, that is. We’re going all out in our celebrating today. I’m watching the kids and surfing the ‘Net, cause I don’t get to do that very often. And he’s finishing up the painting project in the living room that I started earlier in the week. If he has time he’s gonna vacuum out my car, cause he’s romantic like that. Who says the magic wears off??

In all seriousness, we ARE going out to dinner later. We have a real live babysitter coming and everything. So we aren’t totally hopeless. We’re going to try out a new Italian BYO in a nearby town. It’s supposed to be small and quaint. Should be nice.

I’m sure he’s been planning my gift for months. (As evidenced by his reaction a few moments ago when I mentioned it’s our anniversary today. I think his exact quote was, “Oh yeah, that’s right! Is it 11 or 12?”)

That’s okay. This guy puts up with my moods, doesn’t complain (too  much) when I go over budget (that hardly ever happens; I swear), and still wants my body after I’ve birthed three kids and nothing is in the same place as it used to be. And he’s cute too. You can’t ask for more than that.

Happy Anniversary. Love you, Hon!

Print

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

One Down, Six to Go!

July 15, 2006

Last night Hub and I went on a date for the first time in, well, I can’t even remember our last one.  I ordered filet mignon, mashed potatoes, and a glass of red wine – my very favorite meal EVAH.
Of course I committed a cardinal sin and ordered the filet cooked well-done. Hub could just [...]

Related Posts with Thumbnails
3 comments Keep reading