From the category archives:

Motherhood

When I run the world, there will be no Monday.

by Jo-Lynne on March 1, 2010

I've added a few new features to Musings of a Housewife that I hope will be helpful. Over the weekend I created a Whole Foods Resources page that is a great place to start if you are interested in learning more about the whole foods lifestyle. I also compiled my design tutorials into one convenient location. Both are linked in my nav bar. And there is now a Print Friendly button at the bottom of each post, should you feel like printing recipes or information for future reference. Before printing, you will have the option to delete any photos or content you don't need.

I propose that we eliminate Monday from the week entirely. Can I get a second? After two snow days at the end of last week, on top of all the others we’ve had this year, my middle child woke up this morning claiming to be sick. She was as chipper as a jaybird so I dubiously took her temperature — 100.5. Alright then. I promptly called the school to report her absence (that may be the only time in the four and a half years I’ve had kids in school that I’ve actually remembered to call before the school calls me, pat me on the back) and proceeded to load her up with orange juice and vitamin D.

A half hour later, my oldest woke up with stomach pains, which he tends to get; I don’t think he’s sick, but he’s all laid up on the couch moaning and groaning.

I’m fighting something, but I refuse to give. I haven’t been sick in over a year, although I often feel like I’m fighting something. I’m chalking it up to my new eating habits and my super duper immune system because I used to get every head cold and respiratory virus that came down the pike. I dosed up on Vitamin D and probiotics and some Emergen-C for good measure.

On top of all this, I have design work that is getting backed up further by the hour, a dozen blog posts floating around in my head that I’m dying to write, and it’s my husband’s birthday today (hi Dear, happy birthday!) and I know he doesn’t care if I don’t get to make a cake and his special requested birthday dinner but I can’t live with myself if I let that slide. Birthdays are REALLY important to me, so I make it my personal responsibility to make sure that everyone in our family gets a special day.

Oh. AND the kids will have Wed and Thurs off this week for conferences. And did I mention they are calling for more snow?

CALGON?

{ 40 comments }

Reprint: Elmo Has Left The Building

by Jo-Lynne on February 25, 2010

in Motherhood, Silliness, Storytelling

I have the most annoying puzzle. It makes SOUNDS. Yes, sounds, like whatever is on the picture. The idea is, when the child puts the puzzle piece in correctly, the sound occurs, rewarding their success. Evidently in its old age, the sound mechanism is getting loose, and it reacts whenever there is movement in the room. The puzzles reside in my office, so whenever I get up from my desk chair, I hear a mechanical cow mooing or a dog barking. Which reminded me tonight of this post — one of my all time favorites. I thought it might be time for a reprint. So without further ado, I give you…

Elmo Has Left The Building

I daresay that Elmo is very possibly THE most annoying character in children’s entertainment today. Do I hear an Amen?

There is this most annoying toy that my children love. (Why don’t they ever fall in love with the quiet toys?) It’s a little hand-held “See N Say” toy that sings the Elmo theme song. You know the one I’m talking about — La-la-la-la! La-la-la-la! Elmo’s World!

The sad part is, I have only myself to blame. Yes, I bought this toy and brought it into our home and gave it to my youngest daughter in her Easter basket last spring. I have regretted that purchase ever since. I never imagined that all three of my children would find this toy so highly entertaining, and hardly a day goes by that I am not tortured with that high-pitched voice owned by none other than America’s favorite muppet.

I finally had my fill of this irritating toy and decided it was time to put Elmo out to pasture. So one afternoon in a fit of impatience, while the children were in another room unaware of the fate becoming their beloved Elmo, I tossed him in the kitchen trashcan. The lid made a satisfying snap of finality as it closed with Elmo inside, and I smiled smugly as I anticipated my glorious Elmo-free days and weeks ahead.

I went back to making dinner, and a few minutes later I paused to step on the pedal that opens the lid of the trashcan and tossed in an empty tomato sauce can.

Thud. (The can hit the refuse in the top of the trashbag.)

Snap. (The lid of the trashcan snapped shut.)

Then. La-la-la-la! La-la-la-la! Elmo’s World!

The toy is haunted, I swear.

I giggled to myself at the irony of my attempt to rid our home of the offending muppet and continued with my chopping. Soon Elmo was forgotten. I finished dinner preparations and left the kitchen.

A few minutes later I returned to set the table and absentmindedly tossed a few pieces of junk mail into the trashcan.

Thunk.

Snap.

La-la-la-la! La-la-la-la! Elmo’s World!

Crap. Stop that. SHHHH.

Too late. My 2-year-old appeared from around the corner.

“Melmo?” she inquired, looking up at me with trusting blue eyes.

“Um. Yeah. Go look in the toy box.” I silently asked forgiveness for my deceit as she toddled out of the kitchen and into the playroom in search of the elusive Elmo.

Furtively, I grabbed the trashbag out of the trashcan, tied it up, and hauled it out to the laundry room before one of my older children happened by. They wouldn’t be as easily distracted.

As I dropped the trashbag on the laundry room floor and went to close the door, I heard a muffled, La-la-la-la! La-la-la-la! Elmo’s World! from behind the closed door.

I stifled another giggle and skittered back to the kitchen to put a fresh garbage bag into the trashcan and set the table for dinner.

Later that night, I was in the laundry room folding clothes when Husband came in to take out the garbage. He picked up the trashbag and once again we were afflicted by Elmo’s serenade.

Husband looked quizzically at the bag and then to me.

“Don’t even ask,” I responded dryly.

I am pleased to report that’s the last we’ve heard from Elmo.

Originally posted January 15, 2008.

{ 11 comments }

To everything there is a season…

by Jo-Lynne on February 1, 2010

in Motherhood, Storytelling

When I was a young married woman without kids, my husband and I (okay so maybe it was just I, and he went along with it because he couldn’t resist my charms, heh) decided to get a pet kitten. We went to the SPCA and brought home a teensy orange tabby that weighed exactly one pound. He fit in the palm of my hand, and he was the sweetest wittle ting you’ve ever seen. Okay, so this picture was after he had grown for a few months. I know I had younger pictures of him, but danged if I know what happened to them.

Pay no attention to the child holding the kitten. What was I, 12?

I had never had pets as a child, unless you count the fish and the highly reproductive gerbils, Diana and Charles. Yes, Diana and Charles. I am dead serious.

All that to say, I had never had a pet that loves you back until we brought our little Peanut home. One afternoon, a few weeks after we brought him home, when he was still very much a kitten, he leaped up into my lap and fell fast asleep while I rubbed his furry head. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven, cradling my pet kitty in my lap, and I looked forward to spending many hours indulging my heretofore unfulfilled maternal instincts.

*Giggle. I just used heretofore in a sentence.*

I’m sure you know where this is going. Kittens, like children, grow and change rapidly. And those afternoons of my kitten napping in my lap were short-lived. One day he hopped up in my lap, laid down for a bit, and then scampered off to snooze elsewhere. And that was that. He never again napped in my lap, and I while I loved him for his other sweet antics, I always missed the early days.

Fast forward about 10 years, and I have a child that does the same thing. It is not unusual for my youngest child to crawl up into my lap when I’m sitting here at the computer, nestle herself into my arms, and fall fast asleep. I absolutely treasure every single moment she spends curled up in my lap. She started doing it when she was two, and now that she is a sturdy four-year-old, her impromptu lap naps are growing scarce.

These days I’m a seasoned mom of three, and I have no delusions of this stage lasting forever. In fact, when she crawled up in my lap this afternoon and fell asleep, I sat here thinking, this could very well be the last time she does this.

My instincts were confirmed when I tried to get up and move her to her bed, and we wound up everywhere BUT her bed. She immediately woke up as I tip-toed lumbered up the stairs. (Did I mention this child is SOLID? I’m talking about one heavy load.) When she realized what was going on, she waged a protest, and it wasn’t a peaceful one either. I quickly determined that there was no use trying to get her back to sleep in her bed and allowed her to stay up and play.

So here I sit, once again bemoaning the passing of the early days. My youngest is a full-fledged preschooler with a mind of her own and a will to prove it. I wouldn’t have her any other way, and yet I would do almost anything to re-live a few precious moments from her younger years.

Perhaps it’s time to get another kitten.

Author’s Note: I wrote this post last week sometime.

{ 17 comments }

Just Another Afternoon in the Zoo

by Jo-Lynne on December 17, 2009

in Motherhood, Thoughts and Observations

I spent the entire day shopping. Not only shopping, but shopping completely unplugged (due to an unfortunate glitch with my phone; I assure you, it was not intentional. I’m just not that virtuous. But it turned out to be a rather pleasant inconvenience.)

It was such a lovely day. Until 3:00. That is because 3:00 is when I picked up my daughter from preschool. What could be wrong with that, you ask. Well, nothing at first. She happily ran to greet me when I walked in the door, but as soon as we went to put her coat on, things went south. FAST.

She immediately started in with the whining. Her sleeves didn’t feel right. Her hair was bothering her. The sky was blue. You get the picture.

Once in the car, and the wailing began. Then came the full-on tantrum, complete with the kicking of the car seats. Oh yeah. It was lovely.

I calmly told her, when there was a pause in the commotion, that she knows I don’t respond when she speaks to me that way. Unphased, she continued to protest, as I thought to myself, “And I felt guilty about leaving her at school till three o’clock? I should have left her till FIVE.”

Trying to remain unruffled, I once again told her that I would answer her when she spoke respectfully to me.

At first the screaming escalated. And then suddenly all was quiet. For three minutes, I reveled in the silence.

Then.

“Mommy?” in the sweetest voice you’ve ever heard.

“My hair’s bothering me.”

“I’m sorry, hon,” I reply sympathetically.

She was satisfied. For the moment.

But when we pulled into the driveway, she wanted me to carry her and I had my hands full. That’s all it took, and she picked up with the tantrum right where she left off before.

Once inside she grudgingly allowed me to help her off with her coat, and then our eyes met. For a moment I gazed at my sulky, petulant child, wondering at the miracle of a mother’s love. All of the anger and frustration of the past 20 minutes melted away, and I felt only love and pity for this little piece of me.

I opened my arms and she walked in. I picked her up and she clung to me. Instinctively I knew that she needed snuggle time more than discipline. She was tired. It had been a long day for her. I get that.

That doesn’t excuse the behavior, not by a long shot. But she is simply too immature to understand her emotions or manage her response appropriately.

I sat down on the couch and held her close. She wiggled even closer and buried her cool cheek into my neck. We sat that way for a long time. I think she would have fallen asleep except for the big yellow bus that soon rolled down the street, dispatching several lively school-age children at my door.

Suddenly the house came alive with the hustle and bustle of snack requests and homework questions and tales of the school day, and the angst of the previous hour was soon forgotten. Well, almost. Because clearly here I am, writing about it.

Please tell me I’m not alone. Does this story sound familiar to anyone? I’d love to tell you that I have no prior experience with this type of event, but that would be a lie. I’d also love to offer some sage advice or a lesson learned from this afternoon, but if you’re looking for that, you’re at the wrong blog. But then you knew that, right?

{ 32 comments }

How Do You Do Christmas?

by Jo-Lynne on November 25, 2009

in Motherhood

(And if you do another holiday, feel free to chime in too!)

I have three kids aged 4, 7 and 10. Growing up, my mom always made sure my brother and I had an equal number of gifts that were not necessarily equal in monetary value, but they were comparable in size and excitement value. So when I became a mom, I instinctively began balancing out my gift giving in much the same way.

With three kids to buy for, I desperately try to keep track of who is getting what so that it works out evenly. In addition to that, I have the added confusion of a Christmas birthday thrown in there. Yes, my middle child was born on Christmas Eve — a whole four weeks ahead of schedule, I might add. You know what they say about the best laid plans. Ahem.

I also follow the tradition of my parents by leaving at least one “big present” unwrapped in front of the tree from Santa Claus along with their stockings and a few extras like crayons and coloring books and maybe a book for each child. That way, they have something to see when they come downstairs on Christmas morning. They get to play with their unwrapped toys and empty their stockings when they wake up.

Then I wrap another 3 or 4 gifts for each child and put them under the tree. We open our wrapped gifts after a leisurely breakfast.

The older they get, the harder it is to keep track of what I’m getting whom, and the harder it is to keep things even. Again, I don’t worry so much about monetary amounts as I do the significance of the gift. But with three kids at three different stages, it gets complicated. And of course the grandparents and aunts and uncles want ideas too.

I’m finding that the older they get, the harder it is to come up with ideas for gifts. Last week I spent an hour in ToysRUs, walking around by myself, just to see what’s out there. And now I’m trying to figure out what I have, what I need, and what I should return. I posted a quick query on Twitter to find out that I am not the only mother struggling to make it all work out. Several industrious moms said they actually create a spreadsheet to keep it all straight.

Well.

It didn’t take me long to open up my Google Docs and create a Christmas Gift Spreadsheet. Now WHY have I never thought of this before?? It sure beats the scraps of paper I usually keep laying around.

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Happy 10th Birthday, Little D!

by Jo-Lynne on November 14, 2009

in Motherhood

I can hardly believe that my first born is in double digits. It boggles the mind, is what it does.

I love that you still like to snuggle and will even hold my hand in public. I love how sweet you are to your sisters. I love your passion for sports and your sense of humor. I love how you think practicing math facts is fun. I can’t believe you looked like this just six months ago.

Okay, so it was six years. But who can keep up?

Happy Birthday, Little D!

{ 13 comments }

Best Laid Plans

October 30, 2009

Yes, this is my 3rd post in 24 hours. No, I have no life.
I WOULD have a life, but my son woke up in the night with a fever and headache, confining us to the house all day today. Yes, he was sick earlier this week with the same thing. Whatever it is, it’s fortunately [...]

19 comments Keep reading

These Are the Days

August 28, 2009

I was reading some parenting advice lately that stressed the importance of building a relationship with your children, and how a healthy parent-child relationship will generate more responsiveness and cooperation when those difficult conversations come along, which they most surely will, as our children and their problems get bigger.
I’ve been thinking about that a lot [...]

23 comments Keep reading

What I Learned This Week

August 11, 2009

Yesterday was the start of summer school for one of my little ones. She had been dreading it all summer. We bribed, cajoled, encouraged, and finally laid down the law. This was not optional, so let’s make the best of it.
I prayed all night Sunday night and into Monday morning. I prayed for her teacher, [...]

9 comments Keep reading

Operation Cod Liver Oil

July 19, 2009

After reading the many benefits of cod liver oil, I decided it was time to bite the bullet. I bought myself the gel caps because there ain’t no way I’m swallowing a teaspoon of straight oil every day. Or ever. I’ve been taking them for a few weeks.
Then I decided I ought to get them [...]