Source: modprintables on Etsy via Jo-Lynne on Pinterest

One day last week, we were having one of THOSE afternoons. You moms out there know what I’m talking about, I’m sure. I seem to have one of THOSE afternoons about once a month. Ahem.

Everything went wrong from one of the kids tracking mud into my freshly cleaned house to someone else making me late for an appointment to someone else being defiant and disagreeable. But instead of handling it all with grace and beauty, I went ballistic. It was ugly, people. Pure ugly.

A while later, we were in the car coming home from said lesson. It was quiet in the car except for an occasional sniffle from the backseat, and I was suddenly overwhelmed with a heavy guilt weighing on my soul. That balloon of righteous indignation that had been fueling my anger was slowly deflating, leaving me feeling like a cold, heartless shrew.

I had done the worst thing a mother could do. I had stomped on my child’s tender feelings and injured her self esteem. I know better than to lose my temper. I know that nothing fruitful comes from throwing a fit.

Struck with remorse and self-loathing, I silently prayed for forgiveness and then asked the same of my child. I explained that I do not want to be THAT mom, and that while I may have had a right to be angry, I had sinned in my anger by the way I had spoken to her. I said I was sorry and asked for forgiveness.

And there was silence.

No sound came from the backseat, except perhaps another sniffle.

I knew instinctively that my child was not ready to forgive. She was too hurt, and her heart was still hard.

Here is where I had a choice.

I could “make” her forgive me, or at least, I could make her SAY that I was forgiven, and assume the heart would eventually follow the words. Or I could let it go and assume that she would eventually get over her injured pride. In which case, she may or may not end up saying that she forgave me, but I could rest assured that there would unfortunately be plenty more opportunities for her to learn this bitter life lesson.

I chose the latter. I decided to let it go.

As the evening progressed, a tenuous sense of normality returned to our home, but I operated under a heightened sense of my own sinfulness and shortcomings as a mother. Later I tenderly tucked each of my little charges into their beds, and retired to my own, wearily thankful that I could start over fresh in the morning.

A few days went by, and nothing out of the ordinary occurred until one afternoon when I overheard a scuffle upstairs. It was the unmistakeable sound of my two daughters  locked in mortal combat, so I called them down. I didn’t like the way the one was speaking to the other, and I calmly told her so.

They went back up, and in a minute one daughter came back. She looked distraught and explained that she had asked forgiveness for speaking so harshly, and her sister had just turned away and given her the cold shoulder.

Aha! Opportunity knocks!

I hugged her close and said softly, “Well, you know. You WERE speaking very harshly to her just a couple minutes ago. She is only treating you the way you were treating her.”

“But I asked for forgiveness!” she exclaimed indignantly.

And there was my chance.

Snuggling her even closer I said, “I remember a day not too long ago when I asked YOU for forgiveness and you never responded. I knew you weren’t ready yet, so I didn’t push it. Give her some time.”

As I spoke, I saw the dawn of recognition pass across her features as she crumpled inside.

She buried her face in my neck as she said with total sincerity and remorse, “I’m sorry, Mommy. I DO forgive you.”

*cue tears*

With that, I knew that following my instincts that afternoon in the car had been the right decision.

See, forgiveness is a sticky widget. You cannot force someone to forgive you. If you are a parent, you can require the words be spoken, but that doesn’t mean the heart necessarily follows.

I like the way the Free Online Dictionary puts it:

Forgiveness means that you are willing to grant pardon without harboring resentment.

That is some seriously hard stuff, if you think about it.

Asking forgiveness of another person goes beyond a simple expression of remorse or saying “I’m sorry”.

When you say, “I’m sorry,” people tend to reply, “It’s okay” because they don’t know what else to say.

But it is often NOT okay.

It is NOT okay that I yelled at my child and hurt her feelings, but the act IS forgivable.

Forgiveness requires the relationship to be restored, and that can only happen when both parties are ready. While it’s not always easy, it’s totally worth waiting for.

You’ve always marched to the beat of your own drum, from the moment you decided to make your appearance in this crazy, mixed-up world — a full month ahead of schedule, and on Christmas Eve, at that!

I love your creativity and how you can take an old box and spend hours creating something unique and beautiful. I love that your art project always looks just a bit different than the sample.

I love your sense of humor and how you make me laugh when you’re not even trying to be funny.

I love your determination and how you set your mind to something and are bound and determined to accomplish it. And you always do!

And most of all, I love your sensitive spirit and how you care for everyone around you. I love that you protect the little ones at school and are always the first to speak up if you feel someone is being treated unfairly.

You have no idea how beautiful you are, inside and out, and I look forward to watching you grow into a confident, godly woman.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, precious girl!!!

My kids love seeing how their savings are adding up. Nowadays, they are much more inclined to save towards a goal rather than flit their money away on crappy toys or junk food. And I feel like they are gaining an appreciate for what things are worth.

We set the two older kids up with 3 savings goals — a spend goal, a save goal and a give goal. The giving goals are both for our church offering. The kids get $5 a week for allowance, so they save $2 a month for the church offering. The save goal is for college. But the one they are all into is definitely the spend goal.

In the past, they’d mention something they wanted, and I would always say to save up for it. But it never happened. I realize now, I was kind of counting on that. Which is crazy-stupid! HELLO. I should have tried to help them achieve those goals.

With Kidworth, it’s easy because they can see it grow.

How cool is that?

You can add kid contributions, so any time they have allowance or monetary gifts they want to put towards a goal, you can easily record that. And you can invite friends or family to make contributions by sending a clever eCard with a link to the child’s Kidworth page — PERFECT for holiday gift giving!

The site is fairly easy to navigate, although I keep getting caught up when trying to add kid contributions and I have to start over from the Dashboard. Still, all in all, it’s very user friendly, and the kids love seeing their savings grow in a tangible way.

TRY IT!

Right now, Kidworth is offering one lucky Musings of a Housewife reader a $25 gift card to Kidworth. To be eligible, all you need to do is sign up for a Kidworth account and share one goal your children chose to create. Leave your answer in the comments.

WINNER SELECTION:

On Tuesday, December 27th, one winner will be selected at random using the And The Winner Is plugin for WordPress and will be notified by email. Please have a U.S. Mailing address. (When there are no more comments visible beneath this post’s title, that means the giveaway is closed. The winner will be announced on my Facebook page, so be sure to “like” me so you don’t miss it!) For other contest rules, see my Giveaway Policy page.

Disclosure: I am a paid ambassador for Kidworth. All experiences and opinions are, as always, my own.

For one thing, it is very hard to keep track of the money that they earn because we give them cash, which can easily become misplaced or spent thoughtlessly. And we never managed to get them in the habit of saving much of it so it tends to get wiled away on crappy toys and junk food at the swimming pool.

We’ve known for a while that we need a better system, but we didn’t really know what that system would be until I was approached a few weeks ago to partner with a company called Kidworth as a blogger ambassador.

Kidworth is awesome in several ways. For one thing, it offers a solution to the old fashioned allowance system and helps us keep better track of the money that’s coming and going. It encourages kids to save towards specific goals and makes it easy to track their progress. And it also gives generous gift giving friends and family the ability to contribute towards the child’s savings goal instead of buying more, ahem, junky toys to clutter up the house.

I don’t know about you, but I get so incredibly overwhelmed by the sheer amount of STUFF my kids bring into our house. Kidworth offers a fabulous solution.

So, what IS Kidworth exactly??

Kidworth is a free service for parents to help teach children money management that will last a lifetime. Our service allows parents to set up accounts for their children, create goals each child is working towards, and invite family and friends to help via emails, social sharing, and invites.

The system is incredibly easy to use, and with the holidays rapidly approaching, this is the perfect time to set up an account for your child and spread the word to friends and family. Instead of buying another unnecessary toy, the gift giver can purchase an eCard from Kidworth that will go toward meeting one of his or her monetary goals.

I’m sure I’m not the only parent who responds to the “gimmes” by telling my child that he is welcome to save up for whatever item is that is his heart’s desire. This suggestion is often met with an enthusiastic response, but rarely (if ever) does the child actually set aside money and save up toward the goal. Kidworth helps them set a goal and provides a visual record for them as they save towards their goal.

Did you know kids get an average of $25,000 in gifts and cash from 0-18? Yet most children have a net worth of zero when they leave home. Kidworth is designed to help kids of all ages learn financial goal setting so they leave the nest with a nest egg in place.

It really is amazing when you look at it that way. So much money is wasted over the years, but with Kidworth we can stop this vicious cycle and get our kids on the road to wise money management before they have time to develop bad habits.

Sounds great! How does it work?

So say your child wants a bike. You go into their Kidworth account and Start A Goal.

They encourage each child to have a “Share” goal, a “Spend” goal, and a “Save” goal. The share is a charity they may want to contribute to. In our case, we will encourage them to give to our church. A spend goal is something they are saving up to buy. And the save goal is exactly that — their longterm savings.

Then each child has an “Investor” page where it shows a summary of their goals and progress. (I did it wrong – I made the bike a “Save” goal, and I can’t figure out how to change it. But you get the idea.)

It’s important to note that the Kidworth account is in the parent’s name. So it is my account, and my contact info is entered. I can create a portfolio for each child, but ultimately I am in control of the account, which I love.

Once the child has set up his portfolio, he can send invites to his friends or family members who might be wanting a birthday or holiday gift idea.

If you are a grandparent or a friend who wants to contribute to a child’s goal on Kidworth, you simply go to the child’s page and click on the Support This Goal button under the specific goal you want to contribute to. From there you are taken to the gift card page where you can customize the gift card amount and message. When you check out, you enter your credit or debit card information and purchase a gift card which will directly fund the child’s account. There is a $2.50 fee to cover the credit card fees that Kidworth incurs.

The child will receive a gift card that looks something like this.

It will come via email unless the sender chooses to send a physical card for an additional $5 fee. So those people who are determined to see the child unwrap a gift, or want the child to receive “real” mail, can choose this option.

I’m excited to help my kids set up their accounts and see how they like Kidworth. I think it will be a huge improvement over our current allowance system, and I love that they can save up towards specific goals and chart their progress. I’ll post an update in a couple of weeks and let you know how it’s going!

Meanwhile, this is a great time to set up a Kidworth account, and invite family and friends to give the gift of financial responsibility. Let me know if you try it and how it works for you!

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post, written by me on behalf of Kidworth. The opinions expressed are my own.

It’s pretty daunting to think of having a 12-year-old, although this one is still very much a little boy at heart.

I love how he dotes on his little sister and how his eyes well up when he’s upset and how he still gives me a morning hug when he wakes up.

I love that he doesn’t mind hanging out with his parents and how excited he gets when he wants to tell us about a recent event.

I love his competitive spirit and his tender heart and how I can imagine what my husband was like as a little boy when I look at my son.

Sometimes at the oddest moments, I get a glimpse of the little boy that I once knew, and my heart breaks just a little at those days lost forever.

He’s on the brink of adolescence, and yet somehow I know that it’s going to be okay. I’m looking forward to the teenage years and seeing the young man he’s going to become.

I like how he gets my humor and that we share the same taste in music and I treasure that delicate camaraderie that exists between mothers and sons. I pray that we never lose our bond, even as he spreads his wings and one day ventures into a life of his own.

I’m proud of you, baby. Happy Birthday, Little D!

And also? I dressed for Halloween this year. The parents volunteering in my son’s classroom decided to surprise our kids by dressing up for the occasion, and I did my best to come up with the easiest plausible costume I could think of . . . a butterfly (no, not a bat.)

My kids were shocked to see me dressed up as anything other than a work-at-home mom and thought the get up was hilarious.

Of course, they were the real stars of the show.

After all, there’s nothing that says life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness quite like going door to door, dressed in costume, begging for cheap candy.

Hope you all had a Happy Halloween!

I’ve been known to joke that I’m going to change my name if I hear “mom…” one more time!

When I was growing up, my mom worked fulltime outside the home, she made home-cooked meals from scratch, did all our laundry and ironing, and drove us to all our various music lessons and sports practices and orthodontist appointments. She never missed a recital or a ball game or a performance that I can recall. And she did all this while keeping the house in order and with no grandparents around to help share the load.

Sometimes when I’m in the thick of it, I stop and think about my own mom and how much I took her for granted. I cringe when I remember how hard I was on her at times — when she was 10 minutes late getting home from work or when dinner wasn’t exactly what I wanted, you’d think it was a personal affront. Oh I could dish an attitude, you have no idea.

I had no clue the juggling act that went on just to keep our household afloat. As a mom myself now, I find myself on the flip side. My kids are getting older and more vocal in their demands, and now I’m the one juggling the housework and the homework and the errands and the work and the shuttling to and from lessons and sports and school. When my kids express their impatience and dissatisfaction, I’m the one struggling to keep all the balls in the air without losing my cool.

I look around, and moms everywhere are doing their thing, day in and day out, with hardly ever a word of thanks. Most moms I know put everyone else first and sacrifice their wants and desires to give their children what they need and want.

Moms are the everyday heros that you will hardly ever see on the news or hear of their sacrificial acts through the rumor mill. When AllState asked me to share my hero mom story, I thought about the moms in my life and I decided that motherhood by its very nature is a heroic act.

After all, what is a greater sacrifice than carrying a child in your womb, nourishing him with your own body, and putting yourself aside to give him all he needs to grow and develop into an independent adult, and then letting him go to live his own life and make his own path. It is the ultimate selfless act. (Not to belittle those adoptive moms who did not carry their children in their own bodies — we all sacrifice ourselves for our children in one form or another.)

I can only hope that once my kids are grown and out on their own, they will realize, as I finally have, the hero their mother is. And even if they don’t, I suppose I would do it all over again.

Perhaps you know a heroic mom or see one when you look in the mirror. Share your story and be entered for a chance to win $2,500 cash from Allstate. Plus four runner-ups will receive a $100 Visa Gift Card. *The five finalists will be chosen from the Entries receiving the most votes.  

One of the most important things any mom can do is purchase life insurance. Allstate has been helping to protect families’ futures with a range of life insurance products for over 50 years. To get a quote visit allstate.com/life.

Disclosure: This is post is Sponsored by Allstate. The opinions expressed here are strictly my own. Official Contest Rules

I know every mother says this at every birthday, but this one feels huge to me.

I have definitely entered a new phase of parenthood with this one. Or perhaps exited a phase is more like it. In fact, that is exactly what is so heart breaking. Entering a new stage is awesome. There is so much to look forward to. But exiting a stage, particularly a delightful stage like the preschool years, can be hard to accept.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had bottles or diapers in the house, and I admit that while I loved babies, it wasn’t too awfully hard to put that stage behind me. Those were hard years — glorious, but hard.

Saying an official good-bye to the preschool years is more bittersweet. She is changing so fast, and looking at that toothless smile makes my heart hurt. And yet, so much is still familiar. I love those inquisitive blue eyes, that freckled face, those sturdy legs. She’s still my baby, she’s just growing up is all.

We let her open her presents as soon as she woke up. Barbie was the theme of the day.

She also got a new bike, which she put to good use today as the weather was gorgeous, and she had all day to stay home and play.

(Yes, we made her go back and put on shoes and a helmet when we realized she was out there riding like that!!)

She’s the kind of kid that lights up a room.

She’s the one we go to when we misplace something around the house or need someone to fetch something quickly. Her teachers all praise her for her obedience and sunshiny demeanor. Of course, at home she has her moments. She’s Jekyll & Hyde, that one. Yet even in her defiance I have a hard time not bursting out laughing. (Which probably explains why she gets away with far too much.)

She loves Barbies and nail polish and dolls and scooters and, best of all, snuggles from mommy. Not to mention birthday cakes and Tinkerbell.

by Cake Couture LLC

Happy 6th Birthday, my love!!!

Mushrooms, check! Spinach, check! Brussels sprouts, check! Kale, check! Onions, check! Meat, veggies, soup, potatoes, rice… you name it, they eat it. Not to say that all 3 kids eat everything, but they all have a pretty good repertoire of dinner foods they’ll eat, and they’re always willing to try new things.

Dinner time is fun in our house. I enjoy cooking, and they enjoy eating. Yes, I do know how fortunate I am.

Lunches are kind of a wash. I pack sandwiches on homemade bread almost every day – usually lunchmeat or PB&J – and an apple and maybe one other filler like a granola bar or cut up veggies. I don’t love that they eat so much bread, but they’re not so much into taking dinner leftovers in a thermos (they all complain that they don’t stay hot enough) and I find that to be more of a hassle than throwing a sandwich together. But at least they’re not buying school lunches very often, and they don’t complain {too much} about having to bring a packed lunch.

But then there’s breakfast.

Breakfast is killing me. For one thing, my son has reached the “I’m not hungry” stage. My kids have always had good appetites in the mornings, but this summer we got in the bad habit of putting off breakfast until like 9 or 10 AM, and I think they’re just not hungry at 7:30 anymore. Add to that, my one daughter will not touch an egg. She also won’t eat yogurt or smoothies. Or oatmeal. Oh, and lately she doesn’t care for pancakes either.

I could make waffles or French Toast every day, but they already get bread every day for lunch. Call me crazy, but I do not think that a grain-based diet is optimal. (USDA Food Pyramid – or whatever it’s called nowadays – notwithstanding.) I don’t mind making waffles or French Toast a couple times a week, but these kids need to eat more veggies and proteins – not more grains.

Lately even my son, who used to always eat my eggs, has been picking at his plate. I often throw in broccoli or swiss chard or cheese. He used to eat them that way, but now he’s not eating them, no matter what I do or don’t put in them. He just picks at it. All he wants is cinnamon toast. UM. NO. He also used to eat oatmeal and lately has been turning that down too.

My youngest is the only one who pretty much eats anything I put in front of her at breakfast time (or any meal, really. Can I clone her?)

If smoothies and eggs are out, and I don’t want to fill them up on more grains (cereal is obviously out, for more reasons than one) . . . what else is there? They do like breakfast meats, and I try to buy the healthy kind, but that gets expensive, and sausage does not a meal make.

Got any ideas for me?

Call me crazy, but this is one milestone I was NOT looking forward to. Soon that precious baby face is going to be full of gigantic, oversized teeth. So sad.