We’re kicking off the Season 10 Results Show with the Top Ten (or is it the Top Thirteen?) performing a Lady Gaga number, Born This Way. It’s always fun to see the contestants who were voted off again.

Now we start out with the duets, my favorite part of the season. I look forward to this every year.

James Durbin starts off the show, singing with Judas Priest. I was hoping he’d be singing with Steven Tyler, but this will do. See, now THIS is the kind of performance I was looking for in the finale. THIS is fun. Rock on, James. ROCK ON.

After a pointless “tribute” to Randy, we move on to Jacob’s duet. He’s singing with some dude named Kirk Franklin.

Um, hi, that is Gladys Knight!! Jacob must be in heaven, haha, punny punny. See, now I get Jacob. I didn’t really care for him this season, but seeing him in his element like this, I get it. I sincerely hope he has a successful career in Gospel music ahead of him.

Caseyyyyyyyyyy! Is NOT singing Fat Bottomed Girls. With… is that Jack Black?

Now THIS is entertainment, people. Why were Casey and James not in the finale? WHY?

Now the girls are dressed in sassy red, singing Single Ladies — one of my favorite jogging tunes. My 5-year-old is singing along, Uh-Oh. Must practice more discretion when playing my iPod in the car. Oooh, a medley, I see. This is fun. But um, WHAT is Haley wearing? Girl.

And who is that chick with the long hair? I don’t even remember her.

Beyonce joins the girls with her hit, Crazy In Love. They’re really pulling out all the stops with the celebrity guests tonight. Fun, fun, fun. This beats that boring finale any day.

The tribute to Steven was much more entertaining than the tribute to Randy, although I’m glad my 11-year-old son is at a baseball game. I’ll remember to fast forward through THAT when I watch this with him tomorrow.

Okay, so moving along.

Haley is singing with Tony Bennett. Now this is classy, y’all.

Jennifer’s tribute is cute, but really, can we say programming filler? Sheesh.

Another ladies performance… with TLC this time. And we’re not talking about The Learning Channel either. Um wait a minute, who are these people? I thought Ryan said the ladies from the Top Thirteen would be singing. Oh there they are. Okay so whatev. Not my thing, but okay.

It’s Scotty’s turn to sing his celebrity duet, and he’s singing with Tim McGraw… Live Like You’re Dying. Now see if Scotty had sung with this  much passion last night, he might actually have a chance to win this thing tonight.

Ughhh I hate the recaps of the worst auditions. Time to fill my wine glass…

I do believe this is the first time I’ve ever heard Marc Anthony sing. He’s kind of homely looking, dontcha think? To be married to such a knockout as Jen Lopez? Oh well, to each his own. And there she is! I think she forgot her pants. And that’s about all I have to say about that.

More filler.

And the top thirteen guys take the stage with their medley. This is, um, interesting… From Prince to Pussycat? I don’t even dare Google that to find out the backstory. Now this is more speed — Scotty singing Green Green Grass Of Home. And here’s Tom Jones, himself. This certainly is a blast from the past. How many face lifts do you think this guy has had? This has been quite the medley.

So after the commercial break, Scotty and Lauren get to introduce a special teacher that they invited to the show. And Ford gives each teacher a Ford Focus. Who knew being a teacher could bring you such perks?? When I was teacher, all I got was mugs and candles.

Now Lady Gaga takes the stage. This is bizarre, but I have to admit the song is rather catchy. Oooookay call me a prude but it’s time to put that FF button to good use.

Once again, Lauren gets the best spot. And surprise (not) she’s singing her duet with Carrie Underwood. How cute is she? She’s having so much fun.

Now Beyonce is back, singing her new single, One Plus One. Well that doesn’t leave much to the imagination, does it? She does have a spectacular voice, though, can’t deny that.

I hope we’re getting down to brass tacks here after this commercial break. Although after that show, the results are going to be rather anticlimactic. Nevertheless, I’m curious to see who takes home the trophy — if for no other reason than so I can go to BED.

Now here’s something worth staying up for… Bono and The Edge (and lots of spiderwebs, but I won’t hold that against them.)

And after a loooong commercial break, the show is STILL not coming to an end. But it’s worth the wait because we finally get to hear Steven perform. He’s at the piano, singing Dream On. Fun, for sure, but he doesn’t have the voice he once had. He’s clipping all those long phrases, but he still throws in that signature screech at the end, although it looks like it might have almost killed him. And it’s over almost before it started. Guess you can’t expect the guy to have the endurance that he had 30 years ago, huh?

Aaaaand another commercial…

And it is FINALLY time for the results. Lauren looks about ready to puke. But I love her yellow dress.

And the winner issssssssssssssssss…

Scotty pulled it off. Go figure. I shouldn’t be surprised. The underdog almost always wins this show.

And THAT’S A WRAP!

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Y’all. I totally forgot Idol was on last night. Seriously, I’m in the middle of this awesome book series and I had just started reading the last one and I settled down in bed at about 8:30 last night to read. I even thought about watching the results show for Dancing with the Stars and decided I didn’t care enough and I could find out who won this morning. I never even THOUGHT about Idol.

Hey, it’s not entirely my fault. They changed nights on me.

Fortunately I had the presence of mind to set my DVR to record it when they announced the special night last week so I just did something I never EVER do, and I sat down in front of the TV in the middle of the day and watched.

Guess I can’t cast my votes for Scotty. DARN. Judging by what I just watched, he’s gonna need them.

First, let’s discuss Lauren’s injured vocal chord. Yeoowwwsaahhs! That just sounds nasty. She clearly didn’t want to talk about it, but leave it to Ryan to drag the poor doctor out on stage to give us the gory details. Evidently she busted out a vocal chord; the doctor described it as a sprained muscle. She’s on some sort of medicine and I guess she can still sing, but it gives me the willies just watching her. I can’t stop thinking about that vocal chord. *shudder*

But, movingrightalong.

Round One: Contestants’ Choice.

They choose their favorite song from the season to perform again.

Scotty chooses Gone. See, I knew he was a smart boy. I love country rocker Scotty, and he’s bringing the house down. Nice job.

Lauren chooses Flat On The Floor. So they’re both going for the fun, upbeat songs first. Another smart choice, I like this song on her, although it’s weak in her lower register — I’m assuming due to this vocal chord injury. Still, it’s a strong performance and America will like it.

I’m going to give Round One to Scotty. I thought he was stronger over all, but then he generally is.

Are the judges not giving any feedback tonight? What is up with that?

Round Two: Celebrity Picks.

Each contestant gets to choose a music icon to choose their song.

Scotty’s music hero is George Strait, and George chooses one of his own songs for Scotty to sing — Check Yes Or No. It’s a cute song and all, but it’s not going to win Scotty the coveted trophy.

Yawwwwwn.

Why are the judges not talking? Have the producers finally realized that their feedback is pretty much worthless?

Lauren chooses Carrie Underwood, who picks Maybe It Was Memphis for Lauren’s celebrity pick. It’s good, but it’s lacking something — some connection or emotion. I think she’s just too young to really connect to this song. Again, I know this song well and Lauren is just missing something. But as usual, no one seems to notice.

That said, I’ll give Round Two to Lauren. I thought Scotty’s Round Two performance was a bit of a sleeper.

In fact, this whole show is a sleeper. Is it just me, or is this the lamest finale show in Idol history?

Oh, so the judges are gonna speak. And they agree with me — Scotty gets Round One and Lauren takes Round Two, and they really haven’t got much else to add.

Wait. Did Jen say that was an explosive start to the show? Whatev. @@

Yawwwwwn.

Round Three: The Next. Big. SINGLE! WOOO!

But first, some guy named Taio Cruz sings some repetitive hip hop number called Positive. The drummers remind me of one of James’s many masterful performances earlier in the season, and I can’t help but wonder what he might have come up with for the finale had he not been robbed of his right to be here. Next year I am either boycotting Idol or voting furiously for my favorite. HARUMPH.

Okay, getting on with it. Scotty’s new single, should he win the season, is called I Love You This Big. Uh-oh. I have a bad feeling about this already. It actually started out great, but I kept waiting for it to go somewhere, well, BIG. But alas. It did not. Although I did like the high note at the end, and I like how it shows his range, I will not be downloading this from iTunes and I doubt anyone else will either.

I’m gonna say it right here and now. Lauren will win this.

And if Randy says “in it to win it” one more time . . .

GET A NEW LINE!

Okay. So. Lauren’s big hit single is called Like My Mother Does.

Now HOW is Scotty supposed to compete with this? It seems like a set up to me. They give him some generic sleeper song and they give her this emotional Momma, America and Apple Pie number. She actually goes down to the audience and sings to her momma. Yeah, they might as well have brought out the confetti and saved themselves (and the rest of us) from the two-hour spectacle they’re promising us tonight.

The judges are pretty much handing the trophy to Lauren right here and now. Ya think they have a favorite in this competition? Couldn’t you tell?

So yeah, anyway, Round Three, and the Season 10 Idol crown goes to Lauren Alaina. You heard it here first.

Yawwwwwn. (That’s the theme of the night, in case you hadn’t noticed.)

Did you watch last night? Or, ahem, this afternoon? Thoughts??

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I gotta tell ya, this week American Idol seemed flat without James. He is such a showman. These other three — they’re good. They can all sing. But there is no anticipation of what they might do next, there’s no excitement, no… James.

At the very least, James’ elimination evened the playing field. I have no idea who is going home tonight; I think they are all pretty evenly matched at this point — which is saying A LOT for Haley, who we all thought was going home each week for at least the first half the season.

All of the performances last night were good, but they were not all spectacular, as the judges seemed to convey. I couldn’t help but to wish once again last night that Simon was there to cut through the flattery and get to the heart of the matter. I’d love to know what he had to say about last night. Do you think he was watching? Can’t you just see him in his white undershirt, watching Idol at home, making his snide comments to the TV screen? Or maybe not.

Any-WHO. Enough of the commentary. Let’s do this.

Round One: Contestants’ Choice

The contestants choose their songs for this round, and Beyonce is the guest mentor. She doesn’t add much to the show, or at least, they don’t really show her coaching the kids so it’s hard to tell.

Scotty kicks off the show with Amazed. I really do like this song choice for him, and I love how it showcased his amazing vocal range. That said, it was pretty much a good copycat performance and I wish he’d made it a little more… Scotty.

Lauren sang Wild One. Another good song choice but she did that annoying thing again where she sings 2 lines of the verse and then jumps right into the chorus. It is so amateur, WHY don’t the judges call her out on that? There is no story telling, it’s just HEY I CAN SING A BIG CHORUS! And suddenly it was over. I felt like it ended before it even got started.

Guys, believe me, I really DO want to like Lauren. She was an early favorite but I just can’t figure out why she can’t nail a song. There is so much talent hidden under all that hair. The judges love it, so whatever.

Haley sang Zepplin… and I kind of liked it. Okay, well I like Zepplin so it wasn’t much of a stretch. I felt like her vocals weren’t quite spot on but I think the song was a good fit for her. I’m not sure she completely pulled it off (I could almost hear Simon calling it indulgent) but I rather liked it. And I love that they let her dad accompany her on the guitar. Steven kind of summed it up with, “She got her freak on!” LOL.

Did anyone notice how she jumped onto the Classic Rock bandwagon now that James is gone? That is the first time she’s claimed Classic Rock as her genre. Clever girl. She’s definitely trying to grab his share of the votes.

Round One Winner: Will you hate me if I give it to Haley? I loved Scotty’s performance, but his seemed rather safe, whereas Haley took a risk. It wasn’t perfect, but it worked. And it was memorable. Of course, she sang third, so that helps.

Round Two: Jimmy Iovine’s Choice

Jimmy Iovine chose the contestants’ songs for this round, and I wasn’t crazy about his picks. What a bunch of random song choices.

Scotty sang Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not. I was disappointed, but the judges loved it. WHAT are they talking about? Is it me? Sheesh. I give up. Maybe I was just distracted by the lyrics, which were kind of annoying. I sound like a grumpy old lady. Maybe I should just stop writing recaps of this season.

Lauren sang If I Dye Young, and again, the lyrics were so distracting that I didn’t really hear her performance. What a depressing song for a 16-year-old girl to sing! That said, she actually did a really good job — I just went back and watched it because I really didn’t hear her last night. Maybe it was because I don’t know it so well and she wasn’t singing in anyone else’s shadow, but I thought she really nailed it. I still hate the song choice, though. Bleh.

Haley sang Rhiannon. I really didn’t care for this. She had some good moments, but her voice was really weak in the middle. My husband said that was the song, not her, but overall it was kind of weird.

Round Two Winner: Dare I say it? I’m going to go with Lauren.

I fast forwarded through Beyonnce’s performance. And it’s on to Round THREE!

Round Three: Judges’ Choice

Scotty sang She Believes in Me. I was kind of getting into it until he started waggling his eyebrows. Um, Scotty, you gotta cut that out. It works in silly Elvis songs, but not for Kenny Rogers. So again, it was a solid performance, but I’m just not loving Scotty tonight.

THIS is the night where he needs to really bring it, and I felt like he sang three similar songs — none of which really showed off his trademark base notes, and none that really showcased his fun personality. That said, of the three that are left, he has been the most consistent throughout the season and the most confident in who he is and the type of artist he will be so I ended up voting for him about 20 times before I went to bed. It’s about time us old-timers start voting! I’m sure the reason James went home last week is because all the teeny-boppers are out there voting while all the adults are busy putting kids to bed.

Lauren sang I Hope You Dance. I was so excited when I heard she’s singing this. This is one of my favorite songs. I absolutely love the message, and it always gets me when it comes on the radio. It was nice to see Lauren changing up the melody a little bit to make it her own, and I thought she did a really good job with it. I’d like to see her finish her phrases a bit more — she has this habit of clipping the end off which drives me nuts — but like the jumping into the chorus thing, I seem to be the only one noticing this stuff. Otherwise, it was a solid performance. Dangit if she won’t end up winning this thing after all.

Haley wrapped up the show with You Outta Know. It started out rough; it was too low for her and her voice just wasn’t strong at all in the beginning. The chorus worked, but the verses were a bit of a mess. I wanted to like it, but unfortunately it fell a bit short. It sounded like she needed another day to practice.

Randy, this is the semi-finals. They are ALL in it to win it. Shut up.

Round Three Winner: ACK. I have to say it. Lauren.

I truly have no idea who is going home tonight. Scotty didn’t come through the way I was hoping he would. Haley took some risks and had some great moments, but she didn’t have the consistency that she should really have to make it into the top two. Lauren kind of upped the ante tonight, and she’s already a crowd (and a judges’) favorite, so I think we might see Lauren and Scotty in the finals. That said, Haley has somehow managed to slip in under the wire each week, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she does it again.

What do you think?

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I just know that Chris Daughtry is a superstar, even though he was only the fourth-place finalist that year.

Want a little more trivia? Daughtry went on to have the fastest selling debut rock album in history.

And in a few years, no one will remember anyone from Season 10 except James Durbin.

Rock on, James. I look forward to buying your first album.

In all fairness, I hope we do see more of Scotty and Lauren and Haley. But no one has been as consistently brilliant as James. He’s in a league of his own this season. As far as who wins? I really couldn’t care less.

photo credit: www.buddytv.com

Is it me, or has this season of Idol flown by? Sort of like today — somehow it got to be 3PM before I realized I hadn’t posted today. Thankfully I took notes while I watched the show last night.

But first. Lady Gaga? WEIRD. I’m all for individuality, but I will never understand the desire of someone to be just plain weird. But anyway.

Round One: Inspirational Songs

James sang Don’t Stop Believing. It was a 180 from last week. He started out strong and it just got better from there. I think it was a wise song choice because it showcased his gorgeous voice and still gave him the opportunity to do his James thang at the end, but my guess is the song appealed to a much wider audience than some of his heavy metal choices, and going into the final three, he needs to make sure he gets the votes. On the other hand, I personally prefer his edgier performances.

Haley sang The Earth Song. I loved how it started out, I thought her voice was absolutely gorgeous. But then she got really breathy and then she pulled out the growling and I felt like it was a bit much. But at the end, she pulled back while still maintaining her control and intensity, so overall I think there was more good than bad. Although I agree with Randy that it isn’t really her kinda song, and she WAS screaming there in the middle. I’m glad someone finally told her that. The growling thing is better in small doses. But I felt like the judges were pretty rough on her overall. What do you think?

Scotty sang Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning). I love how he started right out with his money note, and I thought he did a good job with the song, but I’m not sure it was the best song choice at this point in the competition. It was a bit of a sleeper. That said, when Randy (was it Randy?) said he was wise to stick with his “simple guy singing simple songs” schtick, I could see his point. Maybe it was a smarter choice than I originally thought.

Lauren sang Anyway. Okay, let’s keep it real. Martina McBride is one of the best country music artists of all time. And this is one of my very favorite songs in the whole entire universe. In fact, Martina sang this song on that stage in a prior season, and I saw her sing it live in concert a few years ago. You see how we’re on a first name basis and everything?

Let me put it this way, I know this song far too well to be impressed by Lauren’s rendition of it. I knew every spot that she backed away from the big notes, and I hate how she doesn’t finish her phrases and gets all breathy when she can’t sustain them. I know this is probably an unpopular opinion, but I did not think she deserved all the accolades the judges were piling on her last night.

Oh and also? I hate it when they shorten the verse and jump prematurely into the chorus like she did. It needed more build up. There was just so much more to that song than the Idol time restraints allowed.

And one more thing. I think Lady Gaga picked her dress.

photo credit: www.starpulse.com

As my son would say, EPIC FAIL.

Round One Winner: It was close, but I’m going with James.

Round Two: Songs from the Leiber & Stoller Songbook (whatever that is)

Haley sang I Who Have Nothing. Girlfriend was ALL fired up; she doesn’t take too kindly to the judges’ criticisms, I’ve noticed. But evidently it worked, because She. Nailed. It. Although I wish there had been more tenderness in the middle — like we heard in rehearsal. But just the same, I think she earned herself a spot in the final 3 with this song. (Or, as Steven put it, “You just Reinharted yourself into next week.”)

Seriously, though, whodathunk, at the beginning of the season, that she’d stick around this long? She’s the comeback kid, that’s for sure.

Scotty sang Young Blood. Um, hi, could we PLEASE remember this a family show? I am NOT impressed with Lady Gaga. I am, however, impressed with Scotty. LOVE HIM. This performance was borderline, but he managed to keep it more comical than cheesy. The googly eyes got to be a bit much towards the end, but otherwise, A-dorable.

You probably have to appreciate country music to appreciate Scotty’s song choices last night, but I love him. And I love how he’s more of a classic country throwback than a modern pop country teen sensation.

Lauren sang Trouble, and old Elvis Presley number. This was a bit of a departure from her typical countryish ballad, and I like this character on her. She started out really strong, I thought, but then it got a bit repetitive at the end. You know who she reminds me of? Carrie Underwood was SO painfully shy when she was on the show. Does anyone remember that? She couldn’t dance, she was so awkward at times. And yet look what they’ve made her into. I think Lauren is a lot like that. She has tons of potential. But I’m starting to sound like a broken record, so I’ll shut up now.

James closes down the show with Love Potion #9. Speaking of cheesy. But somehow he makes it into a seriously amazing rockstar performance, and once again, I will say, if James doesn’t win this season, it’s a travesty.

Round Two Winner: JAMES! I know, I’m nothing if not predictable. But hey, I’m just calling it like I see it.

Going home tonight: definitely one of the girls. I won’t cry for either of them, but I hope it’s Lauren. I just don’t think she’s ready.

Only five left! We’re getting down to the wire. I’m always a little bit sad when a season of American Idol draws to a close, how about you? I was excited that they each got to perform twice last night. There were some surprises, and I found myself disagreeing with the judges a few times. I’ll be curious to see if any of you are on my page.

Sheryl Crow was the guest mentor (LOVE her) and the theme was “Now and Then” — they each sang a current song and one from the 1960s.

James sang Closer to the Edge and I felt like he was singing into a long tunnel. His voice got lost in the background music or something. Was the sound system off? The other singers didn’t sound like that. It was weird, but the judges loved it so I have to assume it sounded better live. It was also a bit off key in the middle, which was disappointing. Overall, not my favorite James performance, but he’s still my  pick to win this thing.

Jacob sang No Air. I love this song, but not on Jacob, and the judges felt the same way. They kept telling him it’s about finding the right song, and I agree that song choice is huge, but I think it’s more about figuring out who he is and putting Jacob on every song he sings, no matter what it is, than it is about finding the right song.

Lauren sang Flat On the Floor, and I’m telling you what. THIS is her money maker right here. I still think she could have taken it further, but it was a great fit for her voice and she did a respectable job with it.

Scotty was in his element last night singing Gone. I had begun to tire of Scotty and felt like he had nothing new to bring to this competition, but last night he reminded me why we all fell in love with him to begin with. It was playful, he was working the stage like an old pro, and it showed his vocal range. I thought he really took his performance power up a notch last night, and he’s back on my good list.

Haley sang an unreleased Lady Gaga song, You and I. The judges panned it but I actually thought it was pretty impressive. I particularly enjoyed the first half, I thought it really showcased the colors of her voice. The end was a bit repetitive, but still, Haley’s come a long way and I thought the judges were a bit harsh. (I know, I can’t believe I’m saying that!) And maybe they were right on, but if so, then they were too easy on a lot of the other performances. Sometimes I think the judges are deliberately trying to sway the audience to vote for the ones they want to see make it to the end.

Round Two kicked off with James’ emotional performance of Without You. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house, or on our couch. Both my son and I had tears in our eyes. Despite that, the vocals weren’t his best and I can’t help but remember former Idol hopefuls who went home before their time because of one unfortunate performance. I hope James isn’t in danger tonight.

Jacob sang Love Hurts, and while the judges loved it, I thought it was way too… Jacob. The beginning was lovely but by the end I was hoping that Jacob goes home tonight. I’m just not a fan, that’s all there is to it. I think his time has come.

Lauren sang Unchained Melody, and I’m surprised the mentors let her get away with that. It is just way over used and while parts of it were beautiful, she brought nothing new to it despite the judges saying “there’s nothing to judge.” WHAAA??? Cop out. I think they just didn’t want to be negative. Simon would have been all over that.

Scotty sang Always On My Mind, another solid performance and a wise song choice for him. It was totally different from his first song, and like the judges said, it gave us a taste of what a Scotty concert might be like. My prediction is that Scotty fans will love it but it won’t win him any converts. Still, I think he secured himself a place in the final four.

Haley closed the show with House of the Rising Sun, which I thought was fantastic. She’s been growing on me in recent weeks, and this clinched it.

Best Performer of the Night: Scotty, for sure.

Bottom Two: Jacob and James

Going Home: Jacob

(images courtesy of FOX)

I’m giving the Most Improved Contestant award to Haley. I think she’s really coming into her own, and it’s fun to see. She is no longer my first pick to leave. But we’ll get to that…

First up, Jacob sang Oh No Not My Baby, and it was “just aiight for me, dawg.” It started out a bit rough and he kind of brought it home, but it was so old fashioned and the pitch problems were distracting. Despite Steven’s accolades – ”We all knew you could sing, it’s just about time you shook your tailfeathers!” (snort) – I still say Jacob’s gonna be in jeopardy this week. B

Lauren sang Where You Lead. Lauren, darling. Those notes aren’t even that high. GO FOR IT, Girl. I felt like her performance was still too safe, but she’s getting there. She’s just so young. I can’t IMAGINE doing this at 16. So I give her credit, but I just don’t think she’s ready to be the next American Idol. I do think she has a shining career ahead of her though, and she’s one of the most marketable contestants this season. B

To fill up the time, the contestants sang duets in addition to their solos last night. I love duets, personally, and I enjoyed this.

Haley and Casey sang I Feel The Earth Move. This isn’t the first time they’ve been paired up to sing a duet, and I love this pairing. Their voices and styles compliment each other and they brought this song into the 21st century. Nice job.

Scotty sang You’ve Got A Friend. The mentors gave him good advice, and he really pulled it off. I like this gentler, kinder arrangement. I’d be saying, “way to make it his own,” but it seems from the footage of rehearsals that the mentors really made it THEIR own, although it’s hard to tell from the short clips they show how things really went down. I liked how he started it out in his upper register and kept it there, but I did wish he had thrown us a bone and gone into his signature bass just once. It was getting a little bit boring by the end. Still, he should be safe this week. And I definitely like him best when he sings non-country songs. A-

James did his James thing once again, this time with Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow. Do you notice how the mentors tell the other contestants what to do, but James tells them what he’s going to do? He’s a true artist. In fact, by the end of last night’s performance, the judges were predicting him to win the whole thing. Uh, hello. What have I been saying since Day One? Last night’s performance was a nice change up from the raucous heavy metal performances he’s been dishing up the last few weeks, and it really showcased the beauty of his voice as well as his versatility. LOVE HIM. A+

Scotty and Lauren sang Up On The Roof. I was hoping they’d be singing together, and I’ve loved that song ever since I saw it performed in a live theater production back in college. There were a few sour notes, but overall it was enjoyable to watch although I don’t think it was anything memorable.

Casey sang Hi De Ho. It was a typical jazzy Casey performance — with even. more. growling! It started out fun and entertaining, but by the end I was starting to feel like I’d heard it all before. I used to think Casey would be the one to give James a run for his money in the finals, but now I’m not so sure. I wonder if America is tiring of Casey. (I think I am.) A

Haley sang Beautiful, and she nailed it. I loved that she didn’t sing strong the whole time, but she brought it back and softened it up in the middle. Haley, my dear, you’ve come a long way, BABY. And that’s all I have to say about that. Oh yeah, and also. A

Jacob and James rounded out the night with a fun rendition of I’m Into Something Good. I think Steven summed it up when he said something like: “I’m not sure if that was the award-winning performance it should have been, but you guys were having fun and you can both sing great. But, man, where were you going with all that?!”

Best of the night: James, hands down. And if he doesn’t win it this season, it will be a travesty. Sort of like last year with Crystal Bowersox. And the year before that with Adam Lambert. And… okay. I’ll stop there. I can see I better not get my hopes up.

Bottom three: I predict Jacob, Casey, and… one of the girls. It should be Lauren, but I’m not sure if American will get it right. Either way, I think both girls will be safe, and I hope Jacob goes home. But if Casey goes, I won’t cry.

What did you think of last night’s performances?? Who should go home tonight?

Case in point:

Scotty chose to sing Swingin’. They attribute it to LeAnn Rimes, but that song goes all the way back to 1983 when John Anderson recorded it, and Scotty’s version is much like John’s rendition. How do I know this? I grew up in southwestern Virginia in the eighties. EVERYONE knew that song.

It was a cute performance, but of ALL the songs of the 21st century? Come ON Scotty. And I agree with the judges that it was too safe. Not that it wasn’t fun, and I like how he showcased the range of his voice, but it’s time to take it up a notch. The competition is getting heavy, and I think Scotty is getting too comfy in his spot on the couch. I hope he’s not in the bottom 3 tonight. B+

James took on Uprising by Muse and THIS IS HOW YOU WIN AMERICAN IDOL. Okay, I’ll stop screaming but that was FIERCE. I loved it. LOVED how he kept going back and forth between the octaves at the end. And I have to say, that drumline was a great touch. Love the drama. He pulls out all the stops every. single. time.

And you know what else struck me during this song? Underneath all the screaming and crazy heavy metal stuff he does, he has a beautiful voice. We really got a glimpse of that during the first half of the song. I realize his style won’t appeal to everyone, but you can’t deny that this guy is an artist.

The judges were calling best performance of the night, and it was only the 2nd one. That might have been a BIT premature, but then again, they were right. A+

Haley sang Rolling in the Deep. Evidently, according to Jen, everyone knows this song right now. I have to confess ignorance, so I went to my trusty friend Google to find out who ADELE is and why I should know this song. Evidently (for the rest of you who live under my rock) she’s an English singer/songwriter who won two Grammys in 2009. I found her performance of Rolling in the Deep on her site, and I can see why Haley chose this song. It’s a great fit for her voice, and I have to admit that I actually really enjoyed it.

For the first time this season, I’m totally in Haley’s court. That was GOOD. I love how it showcased the nuances in her voice, although I have to say, after watching it on YouTube, she didn’t do much to “make it her own.” But whatever. It was a good fit and she performed it well. (Loved her red dress too.) She has never been my favorite contestant, but I’ve gotta give her props for this. (What is it about writing American Idol Recaps that makes me talk like Randy?)

All that said, I don’t think she truly knows who she wants to be as a performer, and I think she needs to get that figured out ASAP. A

Jacob sang Dance with My Father. Who knew Luther Vandross was still putting out new music in this century? See? I DO live under a rock. Then again, I never professed to follow the R&B world very closely. So it’s back to Google I go. Evidently Luther Vandross passed away in 2005, and this song was on his last album which was released in 2003.

It’s hard to separate the emotion of the song from the performance, but I thought he did a good job although he struggled for composure in parts. That said, it was probably the least memorable performance of the night, and it’s getting down to the wire here. Someone has to go home, and I wouldn’t mind if it was Jacob. B

Casey sings Harder to Breathe by Maroon 5. FINALLY. A song I know. I have this song on my Running Playlist, so suffice it to say, I know it well, and as usual, Casey puts his signature spin on it.

No matter what Casey sings, he ALWAYS makes it his own, and I love that about him. I love how he can sing anything from Nat King Cole to Maroon 5 and make it work. It got a little screamy towards the end, but as soon as I wrote that down (yes, I take notes; I know, I need a life), he pulled back and lightened it up. Then he kissed Jennifer. Alrightythen. I’m still a fan, though. He gets an A

Stefano sings Closer, another song I don’t know. I’m just going to put on my grannie panties and call it a day.

Even though I don’t know the song, I actually kind of enjoyed this performance. If nothing else, he showed his vocal range and FINALLY sang a song with a modern vibe to it. A-

Lauren closes the show with Born to Fly. Jimmy is so right about her holding back. I keep waiting for the Lauren that I know is in there, but it makes sense when she admits to being intimidated by the competition. She has SO much potential, but I can’t help but think that she’d have been better off waiting a year or two for her American Idol debut. She’s just so young. She reminds me of Carrie Underwood when she was on Idol. She was so insecure, but the producers took her and made her into the confident performer we know today.

I was hoping after the pep talk she got from Jimmy that Lauren would pull out all the stops and make it a great performance, but it was still on the safe side. I’d call it an improvement over past performances, but maybe that’s just because I don’t know the song well enough to know that it was a copycat performance. B+

Best of the Night: James, no doubt about it.

Bottom Three: It should be Stefano, Jacob and Lauren; but I predict Haley will be in there just because she always seems to be.

Going Home: It should be Jacob, but I predict Stefano.

I still find myself longing for Simon’s colorful commentary and his uncanny ability to cut to the chase, but Steven keeps me laughing so at least there’s that. Case in point: his wardrobe choice last night. White jeans and a pastel floral blouse? He looked like he belongs in a South Florida 55 and older community. But whatever. I suppose at this point in his career he can wear whatever the heck he wants.

And then when he came out with that long line of gibberish after Casey’s song: “Keemo Kimo stare-a-stare ma hi, ma ho, ma rump sticka pumpernickel soop bang nip kat, poly mitchi cameo,” in case you were curious. [source] That is seriously impressive that he could rattle that off, I mean, considering the drugs the man has assumably taken in over the course of his lifetime.

But movingrightalong.

This week is Movie Week or “Songs of the Cinema” and the contestants are choosing songs from the movies, which, basically means anything’s fair game. As usual song choice is everything, and some contestants nailed it while others… well, we’ll get to that.

First up, Paul. Paul chose Old Time Rock and Roll. This was some rollicking good fun, for sure, and Paul is one of my season 10 favorites, but I didn’t agree with this song choice. It was just too old fashioned. And his suit? Oh my eyes… I do, however, love the addition of the sax. That said, I think Paul could be in danger tonight, but hopefully he won’t go home yet. I love how you never quite know what you’re going to get with him, and he’s always interesting.

*At this point, my son predicts that James will sing “that song from the Mrs. Doubtfire movie.” He’s referring, of course, to Dude Looks Like A Lady. I agreed that it would be a great choice, especially since it’s an Aerosmith classic – I’d love to see James take on Aerosmith at one point.

But I digress.

Lauren takes on The Climb. I initially thought this would be a good song choice for her. I’ve been waiting for Lauren to come back from the grave she’s been digging for herself in recent weeks, and I thought this song might be just the ticket, but I was disappointed. During the first half of the song, it was too karaoke and I was wishing she’d do something to make it her own, and then when she started sliding all over the place I decided she’d have been better off to leave it as is.

I could almost hear Simon saying, “I’m sorry, but that was a mess. An utter mess. No, really. When you watch it back you’ll see what I mean.” Can’t you hear that?

But alas, the judges had nary a negative word to say about it. I don’t get it. Are we listening to the same song? Lauren REALLY needs to take it up a notch. On the plus side, her outfit was adorable.

Stefano sings a BoyzIIMen number. As soon as I heard that, I knew I wasn’t going to like it. He sang it well enough, but I found myself daydreaming about warmer weather and planning what I’m going to wear today. Wake me up when it’s over, ‘kay?

Scotty, Scotty, Scotty. WHY didn’t you stick with your first song choice? WHY? And why are the judges so easy on you, boy?

I hadn’t even heard of the first song (Harry Nilsson’s Everybody’s Talkin’) but my husband had, and we agreed that the snippet that we heard from the recording studio had much potential. Then he went with a mellow George Strait song, which, honestly, I’ve always liked (I used to listen exclusively to country music, believe it or not ; I mean, I was raised in southwestern Virginia, after all) but I didn’t think it did much to showcase his talents. I much prefer it when Scotty takes a non-country song and puts his Scotty spin on it.

But it seems that, once again, I’m alone in my critiques. Although Jennifer did say, in the middle of her praise and adoration, that it wasn’t her favorite song choice for him. It’s not that he didn’t sing it well, I was just hoping for something… more. I think he needs to take it up another notch and definitely choose songs that aren’t country greats. If he must sing country songs, he ought to choose something more obscure. That’s my 2 cents, but then again, no one’s offering to hire me to mentor the contestants either.

Casey defies Jimmy and I’m so glad he did. When I thought he was going to sing In The Air Tonight, I was groaning. Instead, he went with his heart and a jazz number by Nat King Cole, scatting and all. I was hanging on every note, and although I could have done without the grunts and growls, and jazz wouldn’t be my first (or fourth) choice of music to listen to, his talent is undeniable and I think he made the right choice. This song shows his versatility as an artist and sets him apart from the others who are content to just sing whatever pop number they remember best from their childhood.

Speaking of which.

Haley sings Call Me and thus seals her fate. I predict she goes home tonight. If not, that means we all have to listen to her again next week. Please, America, nooooo. Okay, she’s not THAT bad, but compared to the rest, she’s just not there yet. Even the judges were underwhelmed and not afraid to say so for once. The song didn’t showcase her voice at all, and while it was fun, it was more karaoke than up-and-coming-music-artist. Buh-bye.

I love it when Jimmy says to Jacob, “Don’t preach to people.” Last week Jacob found himself in the bottom three after saying to America, “if I end up in the bottom three it won’t be because I sang the song bad . . . it will be because everybody in America wasn’t ready to look at themselves in the mirror.” Mmmmm’kay. Really? I can’t believe America didn’t send him home after that.

This week Jimmy wisely chose to sing Bridge Over Troubled Water, but the credit for that goes to Jimmy Iovine. Jacob was going to sing something cheesy and Jimmy saved him from himself. This is one of my favorite songs of all time, and Jacob does it justice. Even though I’m still not a huge Jacob fan, I loved that performance and can’t wait to watch it back again. THAT is how you make a song your own, people.

Then Steven goes off about “crescendos and innuendos.” What a crack up.

James closes the night with Heavy Metal – yes, that’s the name of the song as well as the genre. “Give metal a chance!” he pleads with the audience. LOL!! Once again, a contestant stubbornly refuses to listen to Jimmy and I can’t say I disagree with him. I don’t think Jimmy was wrong, exactly, and yet I think James was smart to stick to his guns. He may not have wooed the grannies in the audience, but I loved it and I suspect others did too. And that high note at the end was INSANE. In a good way.

Okay, to sum it up…

Best of the night: Casey and James are tied in my book – two very different performances, two risky song choices that paid off. Well done, gentlemen.

Bottom three: Haley, Paul and Stefano.

Going home: Haley (I hope!)

What say you?

BUT.

Someone has to bring this spaceship back down to earth.

In other words, SIMON WE NEED YOU!!!!!!!!

The talent this year is unmatched compared to seasons past, that is undoubtable. I remember years when contestants in the final three couldn’t even sing on pitch. These guys are uber talented, and it is so much fun to watch them sing and grow. Plus it seems that they are getting better advice from the mentors. But the judging? Leaves something to be desired.

First I must say, I adore the addition of Steve Tyler and Jen Lopez (yes, we ARE on a nickname basis), and I’ve always had a soft place in my heart for my dawg Randy. (Did I just say dawg?) I don’t miss Paula or Kara whatever-her-name-was even a little bit.

But there is a big, gaping hole in the judges’ table where Simon used to sit.

Simon just has that innate ability to separate the men from the boys that I miss dreadfully. I’d do anything to hear one of his zingers right about now. I know he would have had something memorable to say about Lauren Alaina’s outfit last night. OMYWORD, who styled that girl? She looked like she was wearing a droopy diaper over her stage outfit!

I know I’m no Simon, but I decided that it’s high time that SOMEONE puts some reality into this Reality TV show, and that someone might as well be me. Halfway through the show, I got up and started taking notes, and here’s what I’ve got for ya.

I think I’m going to assign grades this season. I was a teacher, after all.

Last night’s show was dedicated to my favorite music genre, Rock-and-Roll, although I thought there was a serious lacking of, well, Rock-and-Roll. Some of those songs were stretching it a bit, but we’ll get to that.

I started taking notes right after James sang “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” and finally got the show going in the right direction. I thought this was a brilliant move on Rock-and-Roll night, to take it down a notch or ten from his usual raucous performances. Especially after Haley’s screechy version of Piece of My Heart and Lauren’s pushy take on Natural Woman, this performance was a breath of fresh air. James was spot on, as always. I absolutely adore this guy. A+

And speaking of Haley and Lauren…

While I applaud Haley for picking a true rock song (I do love me some Janis) I thought her version was way overdone. I know the judges love her growl, but that doesn’t mean she has to put it into every single line of every song. Someone needs to tell this girl that less is more. While I’ll give her an A for effort, I thought the performance came off rather amateurish, and I wouldn’t rate it any higher than a B-.

Then there was Lauren, who everyone seemed to love last night, but I just didn’t get it. I felt like she should have changed it up more, or chosen a different song. It was a little bit overdone and a-lot-a-bit boring. I’ll give her performance a B.

And there was the the outfit… my eyes! my eyes! Should I grade outfits too? That one gets a D. The only reason it’s not an F is because at least it was fairly modest. That is the only positive thing I can say about it.

Jacob also sang before I started taking notes, and I didn’t enjoy this song much at all, but that could be because I have a severe aversion to anything Michael Jackson ever sang. I have never cared for this song, and I didn’t care for Jacob’s version either. I don’t dare give him a grade because I think my dislike of the song is overpowering my ability to be objective about his performance, but I will say this, I admire his decision to switch his song mid-week and opt for a song with a message that felt more comfortable to him.

Who am I missing? OH. Casey. Okay, now this I liked. I love the song, so that helped, but I also love Casey. I was SO GLAD when the judges saved him a few weeks ago. Loved the stand-up bass, loved the arrangement, loved the delivery, loved, loved, loved. A+

Okay, now we’re all caught up to my notes.

Scotty was up after James. This guy never ceases to impress me. At the beginning of the season, I chalked him up to a kid with a really cool voice but not ready for the big time. But he has proven me wrong time and time again. He looks like such a baby, but then he starts to sing and shows that he has these seriously amazing vocal instincts – remarkable in a guy that young. Plus, he has this way of infusing a bit of humor into his performances without being cheesy. But what I really love about Scotty is that he’s the real deal. His classic country style harkens back to the likes of George Jones and Johnny Cash — no pop country for this country boy.

That said, I think he plays it a little too safe with the song choices. For a while there, I longed to hear him take a non-country songs and make it country. I was afraid he couldn’t do it, but last week he showed us that he can do exactly that, and he’s not, as Steven Tyler so aptly put it, “all hat, no cattle.” I seriously guffawed at that comment, sitting all alone on the couch.

That said, while I liked his song choice this week, I felt like it was too safe. I wish he’d have picked something a little more Rock-and-Roll and put his own twist on it, but it was a good performance just the same. I’m only giving him an A- because I’m still waiting for him to turn it up a notch. I think he has more in him than he’s shown us yet.

Then there’s Pia. Pia, Pia, Pia. She needs some serious Simon intervention. Vocally she’s flawless, but performance-wise, she’s missing something. The judges say she needs to connect more with the audience, but I say she just doesn’t have the It-Factor — that star quality that is engaging and makes us all adore her (and want to vote for her). I predict she’ll get voted out before we get to the finals.

As for last night’s performance, I liked that she sang a more up-tempo song, and again, vocals were flawless, but the performance was old fashioned, and she seemed awkward walking around. I think Jennifer was trying to tell her, in her very sweet and encouraging way, that she needs help in the performance department. B+

Stefano is another performer much like Pia, although maybe one stride ahead of her in the performance department. He has mad vocal talent, no doubt about it, but I don’t think he’s going to make it much further in this competition with rivals like Scotty and James and Jacob and Casey that just seem to have a crowd appeal that Stefano and Pia are lacking. Plus, he’s just too predictable. You know exactly what you’re going to get when he walks out on stage. There’s nothing to look forward to.

“When A Man Loves A Woman” wasn’t necessarily a bad song choice for him, frankly I thought he did a really good job with it, but it wasn’t the best choice for last night’s show. I don’t consider it Rock-and-Roll, and I think he should have taken this opportunity to step outside of his comfort zone a bit, ’cause frankly? He’s a little bit too predictable, and America’s getting bored. I’ll give him an A-.

And I really think Jennifer should stop interrupting Randy.

Paul is always entertaining — in a good way. I love everything about his style, right down to his over-bleached smile and that funky little dance he does while he sings the up-tempo numbers. He knows how to make each song his own, and he has great stage presence. I can’t stop smiling when he’s up there.

This week he sang Johnny Cash, who I do not consider a Rock-and-Roll artist in the least (Rock and Roll Hall of Fame notwithstanding), but I’ll give Paul a pass on this because the Man In Black is one of my favorite performers of all time, and Paul did it justice with his quirky style. A+

Personally I think the best performance of the night was James, but I’m partial to James so I expect there will be some disagreement on that. What do you think?

Bottom three: (Should be) Pia, Lauren, Haley. (Will be) Stefano, Haley, Jacob? Paul? (I hope not Paul!) Okay, I’m bad at predictions.

Going home: I hope Haley, but I think probably Stefano.

If you want me to keep doing American Idol recaps, chime in and tell me what you  thought of last night’s show. Who was the best? The worst? Who needs a Simon intervention?